Konoha's Next Top Model
by Riraberr
Summary: It has the power to make even the notoriously murderous Akatsuki scream. But what could it be? No, it isn't a jutsu, it's... KONOHA'S NEXT TOP MODEL!
1. I'd hate to see you starve

**Here we go, my new story! Just a note, this will not be very long… maybe 6 or 7 chapters at most, depending on how I could drag it out. I got the idea for this after I overheard my friends having a heated conversation about America's Next Top Model.**

**This isn't the new one I planned on making, considering that one is taking a fucking long time to create. I'll get it out though. Don't fret!**

**Ok, there are really messed up things about this, namely details. The Akatsuki have all their shinobi abilities, but then again the models are all shinobis and kunoichis we know and they certainly do not have their talents. It wouldn't have worked out! So this is semi-AU.**

**Just for the record, this is a complete joke and is in no way supposed to be serious.**

**Naruto doesn't belong to me. Read and Review. Have fun.**

* * *

"Shush baka, it's almost on!"

"He hit me!"

"I did not!"

"Did too!"

"Shut up all of you!"

The bickering ended as the four very _masculine_ men all heard the announcement on the television. Itachi, Kisame, Deidara and Sasori all became restless in their seats; eight eyes quickly tuned in after hearing their _god _speak the words they had all come to love.

"Previously, on Konoha's Next Top Model:" Tsunade's voice rang out from the speakers. Even though she was just commentating, the four men could visualize in their minds eyes the busty, beautiful blond who hosted _their_ show. The show they had loved ever since the first season and here they were in the second.

"The five girls were flown directly to Iwagakure and were excited at seeing their new home."

Sasori hastened to turn off the lights as Itachi turned on the auxiliary sound full blast. Kisame, being the tallest, was lying on his stomach on the ground in front of the television. He was clutching a pillow to his chest in anticipation. Deidara was sprawled out on the couch, taking up a good ¾ of it. Itachi returned to his spot, sitting neatly in the ¼ of the couch he was allowed. Sasori finally lithely navigated through the armchairs and side tables before leaning his back up against the very middle of the front of the couch.

On the screen, there was a shot of five girls running around their new lodgings, claiming beds and whatnot. They all had their favorites, and Deidara secretly wooted when his girl managed to slip past a squabbling pair to get a bed before they realized it.

"I'm glad Kin got booted…" Kisame muttered, watching his personal favorite set up shop next to Deidara's chick.

"Can you believe she actually had the nerve to cut Sakura's hair?" Sasori asked incredulously, dropping his usual low toned, cruel act as he always did when the show came on. "Good thing they managed to recover her look… I like the short."

Itachi snorted, causing the other three to cast him an annoyed glance. "Short hair or no, she's not going to win this."

Angry at the insult to his girl, Sasori shot his associate a glare before turning to face the television once more.

"Tempers flared as Sakura found a new enemy in Karin. Meanwhile, the challenge was to impress without make-up or flashy clothes with the winner being Hinata. Using her innocent charm and natural beauty, Hinata won an advertisement shoot and chose Temari to come with her. That left Sakura, Karin and Kin in the house."

The clip showed Hinata and Temari getting dressed and laughing together. The final picture ended up being a cute shot with the pair of them looking rather badass. (i283./albums/kk303/Lila-belle/FoxSaysDeerSaysbydarkgal6.jpg)

"At the photo shoot, Sakura lost points with the photographers for complaining about her new short hair. Temari ended up taking the best pictures, which astounded the judges, shattering the assumption that she could only take bad-girl pictures. In the end, Kin was asked to leave."

There was a shot of Kin's back as she walked down the isle to the back after hugging all the girls, her long dark hair swinging. Sakura was crying, but Kin was above tears, just wanting to get out with dignity.

"Four remain. Who will become Konoha's Next Top Model? Will it be Sakura, the feisty pinkette that never ceases to amaze?" Sasori's face brightened, although his muddy brown eyes stayed fixed on the screen.

"Temari, the incredibly talented tomboy known for her attention-grabbing personality on and off the camera?" Both Itachi and Kisame smirked, throwing a glance at each other. She was both of their favorites.

"Karin, the strong-willed competitor with a lot of talk, but the walk to back it up?" All four of them expressed different signs of dislike. Sure she was pretty, but just a complete bitch. She took over Kin's vacated role as the ice queen.

"Or Hinata, the demure and quickly improving natural talent?" Deidara threw his arms up in the air and cheered for his girl.

The quadrangle of men did not really know why they liked the girls they did. It was something they couldn't describe, similar to liking a flavor of ice cream. You just liked it, without a verifiable reason.

"On this episode of Konoha's Next Top Model, we're going to have a recount of everything that has happened up until now."

"WHAT? Not fair!" Kisame cried, shooting up into a sitting position. His friends behind him all shouted incoherent things about him lying down so as not to obstruct their view. "That's bullshit! I hate it when shows do this! They should tell you beforehand"

"Yeah, now that you mention that, they failed to have a 'Scenes from the next…'" Itachi mumbled, running a hand through his dark bangs.

Despite their pissy attitudes, the four Akatsuki members settled in for an hour of seeing beautiful girls pose and strut their stuff.

* * *

_One Week Later:_

"Alright, yeah, let's do this! Hinata-chan all the way!" Deidara chanted, gaining a look of annoyance from his three compatriots. They were in the Akatsuki living room again, loaded with a bowl of popcorn each. Their spots were exactly the same; only Deidara now had a blanket that he shared with Itachi.

"_You wanna be on top?_"

Kisame threw a couple pieces of popcorn in the air as the intro song started playing.

"Okay, predictions." Itachi muttered, looking around the group. His eyes lingered last on Kisame, lying on the floor. "Who's going to leave? I vote Karin."

"Karin,"

"Karin,"

"I say Sakura, yeah."

All three men turned to face their resident blond with varying expressions of shock, but none more so than Sasori. "Well, then I change my vote to Hinata!"

He always got defensive when his girl was attacked.

Deidara uttered a high note of indignation. "Hey! You don't need to be mean like that. I mean, logically Sakura has the highest chance of leaving, seeing as she was in the bottom two last time. So chill the fuck out and take back what you said about Hinata-chan, yeah!"

As the two art lovers bickered, Kisame and Itachi just shrugged at each other, glad it wasn't Temari-chan who was the topic of the fight.

"Oi… Oi! Shut your fucking mouths!" Kisame bellowed, not able to take any more. "It's about to start! If I hear one more word, I'm going Samehada on both your asses, got it?"

That silenced the partners. Although the pair of them was more than a match for the sword-wielding giant, they both knew he was right. Itachi simply shook his head and instead let his gaze fall intently on Temari, his crush.

* * *

_Meanwhile, in Iwagakure…_

Temari opened her eyes slowly, blurrily taking in her surroundings. _I only got four hours of sleep? God fucking damn it!_

Hinata fared the same as Temari. The night before, Karin and Sakura had gotten into a hell-raising fight that lasted _way_ too long. Despite Hinata muffling the sounds out with a pillow and Temari's clever utilization of cotton swabs as earplugs, the two of them could not get to sleep.

Being the kind of girl that once she was awake, she was up, Temari rolled out of bed groggily, kicking off the down blankets and stretching her arms and legs. She glanced over and saw Hinata curled up in a ball in the bed besides her, clutching the pillow originally used to block out sound to her chest.

Over the course of the competition, Hinata and Temari had bonded in more ways than one. The first being that neither of them sought conflict, preferring to stay out and unharmed. That tendency had caused them to be unfairly labeled 'the quiet ones'.

Another thing was their _status_ in the game. Hinata was shy and prude and Temari was a tomboy, both radically different from the blatantly sexy, frilly, outgoing model stereotype that Sakura and Karin both fit into like a glove.

So, the girls found a sort of solace in each other that was important in a game of this magnitude. It wasn't as though they trusted each other; it was more like they were allies.

Temari walked over to her friend/ally and shook her awake, grinning as Hinata mumbled and brought the blankets over her head.

"Oi, I'm making smoothies and pancakes, come if you want some… I'm not telling them about it either." Temari whispered, a little smirk growing over her sharp features. She tilted her head in the direction of the two noisy girls who were sound asleep for now.

Slightly muffled under the blanket, Hinata laughed her little laugh. "That's cruel, Temari-chan…"

"Serves them right for keeping us awake…"

Impulsively, Hinata tore the covers off her face, revealing her hair tangled everywhere hair could be. "Ah, b-but you can't cook!"

That was rather common knowledge after the fateful creation of the vat of toxic waste in week four.

Temari grinned sadistically, shrugging. "You could help…"

Already getting out of bed, Hinata ran a pale hand through her explosion of hair, stymieing the blond as the dark locks immediately righted herself into the perfect position.

It was a secret Hinata would take to the grave: fixing your hair with one run-through of the hand.

The pancakes ended up being delicious with the "help" of Hinata and her culinary expertise. Unluckily for Karin and Sakura, Temari didn't give a rats ass about how they would feel about being denied breakfast.

That's the thing about modeling. It's a dog-eat-dog world where only the most devious and tough survive. It was a good thing that Hinata had Temari, because she lacked the crazy ambition that seemed to course through her competitor/sometimes friends' veins.

The Hyuga's story was different from the other three. She had not signed up at the open-call that was at the mall near her, she had been shopping with what looked like her cousin (a very girly looking male) and Tsunade herself had spotted her. Something about the milky eyes just drew people in.

Suffice to say, Tsunade and her elite photographer Kakashi left the lines temporarily (they were just there for show anyway, not needing to actually _do_ the choosing) and chased Hinata and her cousin Neji all around the rather large mall, finally cornering her as she came out of the bathroom.

Through much pleading, Hinata agreed to come to the next round of selections, though happily with the assurance that she would get at least to the bottom twenty.

When she made the bottom ten, it was honestly a surprise to her. A personal favorite of Kakashi's, Hinata began to muscle her way through the ranks with her quiet charm and innocence. Although beautiful naturally and in normal clothes, she found it rather difficult to take a good picture when she had to be revealing and/or sexy. In the end, her greatest strength is her greatest weakness: purity.

Kakashi had only taken shots of the girls once, and luckily for Hinata, the challenge was to portray a Disney or fairytale princess. She got Snow White, and had no trouble portraying 'The Fairest of them All'.

The whole entire panel had loved her shyness in depicting the princess; making her the first one to get their picture presented to them that week.

There were five judges that chose the fate of the models. The leader was Tsunade, the ex-supermodel who decided to pass her expertise onto the younger generation. On her right was Jiraiya, the old, perverted but nonetheless fantastic runway coach who sometimes (sometimes meaning a great majority of the time) hung around at the photo shoots, giving suggestions.

On Jiraiya's right sat Kurenai, a famous mega-supermodel who helped make the modeling world what it is today (she was the nice one, rather like Paula Abdul in American Idol). To Tsunade's left was Kakashi, and to his left sat the guest judge, someone from the challenge or the photo shoot.

Fate had obviously smiled down upon Hinata and Temari, because it seemed as though the judges liked them. It wasn't like they were preferred; it was more that the judges seemed to be rooting for them, for the underdogs.

Being the underdog was sometimes the best position to be in, anyway.

* * *

Sakura opened one emerald eye and was met by none other than the flaming red orbs of that _bitch_. Startled, the pinkette shot up quickly, successfully head butting Karin straight to the forehead. The force of the hit sent the redhead to the floor where she lay with her legs sprawled, clutching her head in pain.

"What the hell were you doing staring over me like that?" Sakura asked angrily, wringing the hem of the blanket in her hands as if to do something to stop herself from strangling the other girl.

From the carpet, Karin shot her a glare. "I just wanted to tell you that Temari-kun and Hinata-hime made breakfast without us! Thought you might want to know that…"

Cruel Karin, liking to use stupid suffixes, always referred to Temari as a boy and Hinata as a princess, quite unfairly mind you.

"Why would I care?" Sakura shot, running a hand through her new, short hair. "What're trying to do, make me mad at them?"

"Don't go bitch on me! I was trying to do you a _favor_, you know that thing that people do for each other sometimes to show kindness."

Sakura was starting to get angry for a reason other than having been _stared_ awake. Karin was just being a bitch and trying to pit them against each other. "Bullshit! Like you would be genuinely concerned about my hunger…"

Karin, now standing, just scoffed at her and proceeded to storm out of the area, throwing back her hair like any true-blue diva would do in the situation. It took Sakura a few moments to cool off, in which time she heard a little scuffle in the entryway that Karin had not walked through.

To the still-in-bed Sakura, Hinata was just too damn cute, carrying a little tray with a plate of pancakes and a smoothie. The bluenette looked around warily, watching for both Temari and Karin who would show varying displays of anger at what she was doing.

"Sakura-san… I made extras for you." Hinata muttered, setting the tray by Sakura's side and bowing slightly.

"Wow, thank you Hinata! I can't believe that you made these for me." She muttered, throwing the Hinata a true smile.

"No problem," she muttered, taking a seat on the edge of the bed and again casting a nervous glance at the surroundings. "You're my friend… I… I'd hate to see you starve."

Hey, no one said that Temari was Hinata's only friend. To be perfectly honest, the shy girl was kind to everyone she met, with the exception of Karin. To some, this trusting behavior was bad in a business such as this, but she had survived to the top four, right?

* * *

"See, Hina-chan is amazing! She's the only one nice enough to do that, yeah!" Deidara chirped, stuffing a mouthful of popcorn into the mouth on his face. The ones on his hands licked the salty, buttered snack lightly, though never actually ate it. What was he going to make, popcorn bombs?

Although, that may be a pretty good assassination method: make explosive popcorn, feed to doomed person, explode their stomach or jaw off. He made a mental note to apply that strategy to something at least once before he died.

"She won't win!" Sasori muttered angrily, though glad on the inside that Hinata had shown such kindness to his girl. "She'll just get completely walked-over in this business! We can't have a push-over be Konoha's Next Top Model!"

At the attack on Deidara's girl, Itachi and Kisame braced themselves for the coming storm. The show had flashed to a commercial break, so no death threats for silence could seriously be made.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'PUSH-OVER'? Hinata's obviously got it in her to completely model the shit out of the other girls! And plus, she's obviously the prettiest…"

"What I'm saying is that she's too innocent for this!"

"Well, maybe they're looking for something new this season, yeah that's it! They'll pick her because she's like a breath of fresh air from all the bitchy, arrogant… _bitches_ that clog up the agencies!"

Ever since the first season of KNTM, and now nearing the end of the second, the four gang members found themselves with an inexplicable knowledge of the inner workings of the modeling agency. They were honestly experts in the whole scene, and were prone to shouting at the television when a girl made a stupid mistake.

Four of the ten members of the most powerful and terrifying organization in the world, watching Konoha's Next Top Model together like a quartet of little girls having a sleepover... if Pein-sama knew, there _would_ be a shit storm.

As soon as the show came back on, Kisame shouted a very colorful phrase involving 'shredding', 'drowning' and 'asses'. It shut up the bickering partners, who both stubbornly crossed their arms in front of the chests and huffed, looking in different directions for a minute before returning their gazes to their show.

* * *

Jiraiya stood in front of the four remaining girls, eyeing each of them in turn. His gaze lingered the longest on Karin, who was on the end. _Such diverse girls… one blushes at getting looked at, one could probably kick _my_ ass in a fight, one with impossibly naturally pink hair and a personality to match, and one bespectacled flirt._

They were all in the studio of their next photo shoot, with the girls looking around to try to deviate the theme this week.

"Good morning girls." Jiraiya cooed, clapping his hands together devilishly.

The foursome of models greeted him back, making him smile. "Let me introduce you to your photographer this week. The notorious, the elusive, the handsome Hatake Kakashi!"

Their silver-headed judge walked out of a door to their left, bowing his head to the girls. Sakura and Karin cheered, Temari waved, and Hinata just smiled shyly, each motion mimicking the owner's personality.

Kakashi cleared his throat lightly. "Ahem. I'm looking forward to working with all of you. This will be as good a chance as any to show your diligence to a judge."

The friendly Jiraiya, draping his arm over Kakashi's shoulder lightly, smiled his rough grin. "I bet you ladies want to know what kind of pictures you'll be taking today."

There was a murmur of assent through the girls. For the first time, the judges noticed that they had four different styles and colors of hair on their girls. One dark blue and long, one blond and in four ponytails, one short and bubblegum pink, and one flaming red and artily layered. Diverse indeed.

"Today we will be focusing on that enigma, the mystery that is _love._" Jiraiya started, looking over at his girls with a smile on his face. "Each of you has to portray a different kind of love, and will be judged on how accurately you can display it."

Walking forward more, so that he was more in the spotlight, Jiraiya put his hands on his hips and looked first at Karin, on the end. "Karin-chan, you will be _tough love._" His gaze flickered over to Sakura, who was next to the redhead. "Sakura-chan, you have _innocent love_."

Sakura nodded at what she had been assigned, a little peeved at getting the meek one. Hinata would excel at that, not her! She wanted something a little more _sultry_.

"Temari-chan, you are _hidden love_."

Temari smirked, knowing a little more than she should about that particular side of love.

"And last but certainly not least, Hinata-chan gets _true love_."

Hinata bowed her head politely; at least glad she didn't have anything too scandalous.

"But," Kakashi butted in, walking up to be level with his co-judge. "You will not be alone in this picture."

On cue, four men walked in and stood in a line, each obviously different in way other than looks. Kakashi continued, smiling brightly at how the girl's eyes just flicked to the men and were not leaving. "Starting from the left we have Sasuke, Shikamaru, Sai and Suigetsu."

Laughing out loud, Temari leaned into Hinata, whispering something in her ear. "They all start with 'S'!"

* * *

There was a short gasp as someone (probably Deidara) paused the show. His move immediately started an avalanche of yelling from Sasori and Kisame.

"Yeah, yeah, shut up!" He barked, holding the remote away from Kisame who lunged to grab it. "I--hey stop biting! I think—STOP—that's it, KATSU!"

The clay bird that Deidara had made during the commercial break detonated after flying at Kisame's head. It worked; the blue-skinned man had now stopped fighting for the remote. But as the smoke cleared, the clay user now had a pissed off Akatsuki member on his hands.

"Ahh! Okay, before you kill me, isn't that Itachi's little brother?" Deidara said quickly, screaming a girly yell when Kisame reached for his Samehada, very conveniently placed right next to its owner.

Sasori and Kisame turned their heads so quickly their necks cricked. The former let out a chuckle. "Yeah, it is. You two look so alike don't you Itachi-niisan?"

Itachi merely glared at his partner. "I look nothing like that _girl_. Have you seen his face? Hold him next to a picture of our mother and the resemblance is uncanny."

"You're one to talk, Mr. 'I brush my hair every morning and every night'…" Deidara muttered, sticking his tongue out at the Sharingan user.

"Children, please…" Sasori interjected, pulling the remote out of Deidara's weakened grasp with a chakra string. "Be civil. We want to see who gets what boy, right?"

* * *

"We have assigned you to a guy based on visual compatibility." Kakashi muttered, extending his arm out to the men. "Karin and Suigetsu, Sakura and Sai, Temari and Shikamaru, and Hinata and Sasuke."

"Yosh! Now head over to make-up and wardrobe, the first up will be Temari!" Jiraiya called before walking away with Kakashi.

_Sai doesn't seem so bad…_ Sakura thought, matching his light smile with one of her own.

_Oh my god, did he just yawn? Figures that I would get the lazy one…_ Temari thought upon seeing her man put his hand over his mouth in an obvious yawn.

_He certainly is very handsome. _Hinata blushed when Sasuke looked at her, displaying a look that was in0between a smile and a frown, but closer to the latter. _But he's a little, eh, angry._

_What the fuck? I get the ugliest one! I want Hinata's boy, he's one hunk of hot! _Karin jealously thought, stealing a glance at Suigetsu. He wasn't bad looking at all, she just wanted to complain. _At least I'll have no trouble at all portraying tough love…_

A commercial break happened, right then, causing the four Akatsuki members, groan and yell.

"They _would_ fucking cut to commercials! Fucking T.V!" Kisame moaned, flipping himself over so he was on his back facing the ceiling.

The blond nodded in approval. "Yeah, I hate it when something is just getting good and then it just stops."

...

* * *

**Aha, there we go! Hope you liked, because I thought it was fun to write. Just a carefree little diddy that I felt i wanted to write about. Personally, I don't even watch the show, let alone tv in general (anime on computer doesn't count!). So, don't bite my head off if something is wrong about the whole show part. I watched the first couple of seasons, so I at least know what I'm doing... more or less.**

**Sorry folks, no 'scenes from the next episode' this time considering I haven't _written_ it yet...**

**So, review, review, review! Either that or just read again, if that's what tickles your fancy.**


	2. Visual compatability, eh?

**Thanks for all the wonderful readers who reviewed and alerted and favorite-ed… it means a lot. **

**Just for the heads up, I love Suigetsu in this chapter… I'm sad we don't get to see to much of him and his witty humor in the manga thus far…**

**Naruto is not mine. **

**Read, review and re-read if you please!**

* * *

_This guy…_ Temari thought angrily, throwing a look of pure spite at her modeling partner. They were in a side room, waiting for the set to be complete.

"Troublesome girl…" Shikamaru muttered, shaking his head. "Why are you mad at me?"

Temari stubbornly turned so her back was facing him. "You're a lazy ass, that's why."

"Hn,"

Suddenly unable to take it, she turned and took a few steps closer to him. "I take this very seriously… if you're going to fuck me over by being a dope on the set—"

"Is that really what you think of me?" Shikamaru asked, raising his eyebrows at her. "That's rather unfair. All you're judging on is your first impression."

"First impressions show a lot."

Her blue eyes were locked in his brown ones, each owner trying to stare down the other. He smirked, which in turn caused her to intensify her glare. "If my first impression is so shitty, how do you think I became as successful as I am?"

Now that she had to think about it, Temari realized that Tsunade had probably gotten only the top male models, which meant that Shikamaru…

He took a step closer to her, suddenly towering over her. His voice lowered to a low whisper as he leaned in her ear. "It's because of my _delivery_ on set."

A chill ran through her spine as he said that. Taking a step back, Temari truly observed him for the first time. Originally being blinded by his annoying laziness, she saw now that he was _hella _fine. Dark hair pulled into a high, gravity-defying ponytail almost matched her four in their spikiness. His body was tall and lanky, but with hidden muscle underneath.

_Visual compatibility, eh?_

"I suppose we're one and the same. I fucked up most of my go-sees too." She muttered, putting one hand on her hip and observing the nails on her other.

Shikamaru was shocked. He totally thought he had her at his 'delivery' line, he usually did! Looks like someone met their match…

"Hey,"

Temari looked up when he addressed her, smiling a fox-like grin. "Yes?" It seemed the more she looked at him the more she began to like him, like, like-him like-him! (A/N: Sorry, I just needed to put that in there… It was really _too_ perfect)

"I normally don't do this but… uh…"

_He's going to ask me out. It's coming, I know it!_ She tilted her head sideways, expectant of an answer.

"Do you want to play me in shougi some time?"

Cue 'anime depression' background.

X.x.X

"AGGGGGH!! The little shit asked her out!" Kisame shouted, jumping to his feet to angered yells from the shorter people behind him.

With quick reflexes, Deidara paused the show. "Hn, he just asked her to play him in a stupid game!"

Itachi shook his head. "No, he asked her out." He muttered darkly, running a hand through his bangs to hide his obviously pissed off face.

"Psh, how do you know?" The blonde asked, scoffing at their know-it-all-ism.

Once again, Sasori took back the remote and played the show. "They just do, now Kisame sit down and Deidara shut up."

X.x.X

"Uh, sure?" Temari wondered out loud, causing him to smirk.

After Shikamaru wrote his cell number on her hand, he muttered into her ear: "We should go to the shoot now…" He strolled past her with his hands in his pockets, giving her a nice shot of his derrière.

The pair of them had a fall theme, with orange and brown leaves blowing about. Taking their places, Temari quickly sat on the ground, holding her legs to her chest as Shikamaru sat down besides her, looking in a totally different direction. The shots came quickly, but they worked like a seamless team, almost sharing a mind link.

"Good job Temari-chan!" Jiraiya cooed from his spot on the sidelines. Kakashi with his ever-present camera just smiled, taking another shot of them standing, facing different directions but with their pinkies locked.

The very last shot was one of Shikamaru leaning against a tree, looking at Temari lustily as she stood in the foreground with a smirk on her face. Hidden love indeed.

* * *

Sai was sitting in the corner of their waiting room with a drawing pad propped on his knees. Every now and then he would cast a glance at Sakura, who was sitting with her legs crossed in an armchair.

"What are you drawing?" She finally asked, unable to take it.

He smiled a true smile, different from the fake one he showed her when they first met. "You."

She blushed, immediately becoming self-conscious.

"I've really never seen a girl like you. Naturally pink hair? I just needed to draw it!"

"Can I move?" Sakura asked nervously, unsure of his motives.

"Yes,"

Smiling, she stood up and walked over to where he was and sat next to him. She gasped when she saw what he had so far. "If you don't mind me asking, why do you model if you can draw so well?"

Sai put down his graphite pencil in favor of an emerald green color. "I model for the money, Sakura-san. Drawing is what I do."

There was something so simple and cute about him. She couldn't help but like him for it.

"Eh! Are my eyes really that color? I thought they were lighter!!" She cried suddenly, pouting as she pointed a well-manicured finger at her face on the picture.

Sai chuckled. "It's impossible to capture the real color of eyes like yours. Everything about you is so unique."

_Is he flirting with me, or is this his personality?_

"Thank you…"

X.x.X

"Hn, hn, Sasori-danna, how do you like that?" Deidara asked annoyingly, smirking at his overly pissed partner. "Sakura-chan's being swept off her feet by an _artist!_"

"Shut up Deidara…" Sasori shot back. He honestly was about two seconds from taking a trip to Iwa and artfully assassinating that pompously sincere asshole, Sai.

"Just wait," Kisame muttered, craning his neck to stare at the explosives expert. "Next is Hinata-chan! We've got Itachi's little bro about to seduce her!"

Deidara's smile melted off his face. "Itachi, I'm gonna kill you, yeah!"

X.x.X

Sakura and Sai's photo shoot was to be taken place outside, next to a pretty fountain and some hedges. The pair of them was very cute together in every shot, matching the _innocent love_ theme.

The had a sweet shot where Sakura was smiling to the camera and sitting with Sai slightly angled to her back, smiling his cute smile. Cute cute cute cute!

But it seemed Kakashi didn't like it so much.

"Sakura, can you give me a different face? I've just got this smile over and over again…" He muttered, taking yet another picture with her and Sai smiling identically. "You have five shots left, make them work."

Her last shot was of them sitting and Sakura blushing a little with an open mouthed smile. Hey, it was at least different!

* * *

"You wish you had Sasuke, right?" Suigetsu asked Karin lightly, smiling his toothy grin.

The redhead turned to face him, a small blush adorning her pretty face. "Shut up!"

"If you keep frowning like that, you're going to get frown lines… Heaven forbid!" He called, putting his hand over his chest dramatically.

Karin narrowed her eyes, putting both hands on her hips. "How on earth are you a successful model?!"

Suigetsu sat down in one of the chairs, slurping from a water bottle. "It's the body."

It was true; of all the boys he was one of the most toned and muscled. His face, though attractive in it's own right, was nothing special. Not like Hinata's boy…

"You want to know something?" Suigetsu asked, pointing the straw of his water bottle at her accusingly. "I think you're going to win this."

Karin turned her back to him. "Why do you think that?"

"Well, for one you're one tough bitch. The modeling world needs more of those I think…"

Although it came out slightly rude, Karin was honestly complimented.

"The only one who honestly rivals you in beauty is that Hinata girl, and she's too nice. The blonde won't win, she's too boyish. And the pinky is just too… I don't know… girly."

X.x.X

Kisame and Itachi were outraged at the insult at their girl. Boyish? Sasori was likewise angry, considering the only thing girly about Sakura was the color of her hair and that was a terrible thing to base judgment from.

"Hah, suckers! He complimented Hinata-chan!" Deidara cheered, achieving chilling glares from his co-members.

X.x.X

"We should go…" Karin muttered, grinning to herself. Those were the reasons she thought she would win as well.

Maybe the Suigetsu/Karin combination wasn't so bad after all…

Their photos were good, both Jiraiya and Kakashi complimented her. They were in a home scene, in a kitchen to be precise.

Overall, their pictures were the most physical. The first few were about Suigetsu trying to cook with Karin yelling at him, then they went into the pair of them getting in a little sword fight with wooden spoons. They were having a lot of fun with each other it seemed.

"Alright Karin, one shot left!" Kakashi called. Their last shot was of them in a little food fight. Cute!

* * *

The clock in the corner ticked loudly, or maybe it was the absence of other sounds that made it seem so deafening. Hinata sat cross-legged in one of the chairs facing the full-wall mirror. She wasn't looking at her reflection though; she was casting glances at _him_.

Sasuke was quiet as well, just casually leaning against the wall. His eyes were closed, which seemed to give her permission to stare.

He was very princely, for lack a better description. Dark, impossibly spiked up hair with pale, alabaster skin. His body was perfect, as was his height. He seemed like the kind of guy who had to fight the girls off with a stick.

"You're different."

The disruption of their silence caused Hinata to look up directly at the reflection of his face. "E-excuse me?"

He opened his eyes, piercing her light ones with his dark. "You. You're different from other models."

Normally Hinata wouldn't really pry into what he was trying to say, but something about him intrigued her. "How so?"

"Most try to throw themselves at me."

_Wow, that was blunt_… She thought, raising her eyebrows. That seemed about right for girls to react that way towards the perfected human that was Sasuke.

"S-should I be?" Hinata asked, turning to face him and not his reflection.

Sasuke smirked slightly crookedly, a look that brought a blush to her light cheeks. He just shrugged. "I wouldn't object."

X.x.X

Back in the bat cave, Deidara threw one of his bird bombs at the T.V. None of the other S-ranked criminals managed to stop it in time before it blew up not just their entertainment, but also the wall behind it.

"DEIDARA YOU DUMBASS!" Kisame shouted, standing with his sword in hand. The dust cloud dissipated to show the true destruction of the bomb.

Deidara jumped to his feet lightly, failing to become intimidated by the giant height of his adversary. "HE'S **FUCKING** HITTING ON HER!!"

Sparks shot between their eyes as they glared up a storm.

"Baka Deidara…" Sasori muttered, getting to his feet as Itachi did the same. "We have to find a new T.V now…"

The meaning of what he had said took a while to sink into everyone there, including the speaker himself. It all hit them at the same time, causing them to all run out of the room at once, heading for the only other television in their lair.

"Deidara, you are fucking stupid." Itachi growled, leading the way as they all streaked through the hallways of the dark place. Odd for Itachi to swear like that, but no one called him out on it in their desperation to get to a television.

"Shut up, princess…" The blonde shot back, painfully aware of the fact that it was all his fault.

In a large display of anger, Kisame kicked down the door leading to Kakuzu's room, revealing him and his partner, Hidan, watching a rerun of _House._

"Well, hello there." Hidan muttered, turning his head to look at the newcomers. "You fuckers broke the door!"

"We need your T.V!!" Deidara called desperately. After a brief explanation from Itachi and Sasori (Deidara and Kisame were still fuming) Kakuzu and Hidan agreed to switch to the channel it was on.

"I'll do this…" Kakuzu growled "If, and only if you repair my door and I get each of your pay for your next missions… Are we good?"

"YES!" The four of them said in unison, not caring that Kakuzu had just gained an astronomical amount of cash.

"Gogogogogo!" Deidara called, resuming his place on the couch after hopping over the back. The other three took their normal spots, leaving Kakuzu to sit in an armchair and Hidan lay next to Kisame.

Hidan had the remote, his anticipation mounting as he neared the channel it was on. Once they got to it, they forgot about the terrible curse of cable where if you keep pressing the channel buttons again and again, faster than it took for the T.V. to think about it, it would be caught in switching the channels.

And so they passed the channel completely, to the angry screams of the original watchers. Afraid for his life, the immortal Hidan threw the remote at Sasori as if he was dropping a snake. (A/N: Lol, an immortal fearing for his life…)

Sasori quickly turned to the channel and he, Deidara, Itachi and Kisame all sighed in relief.

"Yeah! For once I love commercials!" Deidara called, laughing. Apparently they had been freaking out about a commercial break.

Six of the most deadly shinobi in the world watched the ad for _Garnier Fructis _hair products with mounting eagerness.

"Heh, you long-hair guys should use that shit…" Kakuzu stated, meaning Itachi, Hidan and Deidara. "Long and strong?"

"That's what she said…" Hidan mumbled, smirking as he relocated himself to sit next to Sasori instead of being uncomfortable next to fish-boy.

"Silence! It's on." Itachi called lightly, successfully quieting them.

X.x.X

Interestingly enough, showing true love between Hinata and Sasuke was as easy as pie. Easier than pie actually...

They had a winter-y scene, with snow blowing around and one scarf to share. The scarf was the primary prop, so the first few shots were of them holding hands with the red scarf wrapped around their arms. Another cute one was when they had both tied it around their pinkies to connect them in an old superstition in which you are connecting to your true love by a string around your pinky.

"Gah! Hinata-chan, you're too cuUute!" Jiraiya cheered, anime tears running down his tanned face. She blushed as he said that, and it was caught in a picture where Sasuke was hugging her, with the scarf wrapped around the both of them.

In the last shot, both her and Sasuke took a handful of fake snow each and blew it at the camera while holding hands, resulting in a shot of pure _fun._

As they all finished up and the boys left, Hinata reached in her pocket and found a little slip of paper. With Temari, Karin and Sakura comically peering over her shoulders, Hinata unfolded it and almost fainted.

It was his cell phone number and his full name. Underneath it all was a little heart. Kawaii!

* * *

"This is your first view of the new Iwa judging room." Tsunade said holding up her arm to showcase it. It was very spacious with marble floors and walls and old statues around the area. "Sadly, one of you has to leave already."

The four girls nodded from their spots at the beginning of the catwalk leading to the judging table.

"Your shoot this week was to portray _love_. Let's see how you did! Karin, you're up first."

Showing her impeccable walk, the redhead strutted to the front, completely commanding all attention like a good model should.

"I heard from Kakashi that you had some trouble at first with your male model… care to explain?" Tsunade asked lightly.

Karin shot a small look at Kakashi before attempting to smile. The result was just plain fake. "He was a little rude when we first met."

_Lie alert. Lie alert. Lie alert._

The panel of judges all showed varying displays of surprise. Or disbelief, depending on how you looked at it.

"But, based on your shot, you managed to resolve whatever happened between you. Here is your best photo."

Everyone looked right to see the screen on the wall. It was a picture of Karin and Suigetsu arguing over the last piece of a watermelon, both with a blush on their faces. Karin had her arms crossed over her chest, but still managed to work her body well.

Kurenai, the super-mega-model, was the one who spoke first. "I liked this shot a lot more than the others because it showed your kind of love the most interestingly."

Tsunade nodded. "Tough love, right Karin?"

"Yes, it was."

"The majority of your roll was of you basically hating him, but this one was really nice. The blush made it seem like you actually did love him. Which, you know was what it was all about." Kurenai finished, giving Karin a small smile.

"Karin-chan, I don't think it was your strongest picture," Jiraiya muttered, stretching out in his chair.

Kakashi shook his head. "I think it showed a different personality. I liked it. A lot."

"Yeah, but we all love Karin-chan for her toughness, right?"

"Everyone can mix it up if they want though…"

Tsunade raised her hand to speak over the bickering pair, making everyone laugh. She smiled as they quieted. "Thank you, children. Karin, this is a good shot, but you need to change your facial expression a little bit more. Your whole roll was the same thing over and over. You were just like Sakura, with only one face. Work on that. Hinata's next!"

The bluenette walked hesitantly up to them, throwing a little nervous wave.

"Hinata, I want to congratulate you this week." Tsunade started, holding back on showing her picture. "You're whole roll was incredible. This is the most solid work we've seen from you throughout this whole game."

The picture was her very last one, the one with them blowing snow while holding hands.

"We liked this one because it was the just so incredibly cute." Kakashi explained quickly, smiling.

"This shot just screams 'best friends'," Kurenai agreed. "And the couples that are in true love are best friends with each other, right? Kudos to you, Hinata."

"Eh, Hinata-chan, he gave you his number, right?" Jiraiya asked, cocking his head.

Hinata completely blushed scarlet.

"Sakura! You're up!" Kakashi muttered, causing Tsunade to shoot a playfully angry glance at him.

"_My _job." She bitched before shooting her smile at the pinkette. "Alright Sakura, you had the same problem that Karin had, with the mono-face. You just smiled lightly the whole time, and as innocent as that may be, we were expecting something more from you."

Her best shot was of her and Sai sitting back to back, with his hand on top of hers. They were both blushing, adding to the whole _innocent_ theme.

"I like it…" Kurenai muttered, leaning on her hand as she looked down the table. "It depicts the theme incredibly. If we were just looking at this shot alone, it would have been a wonderful catalogue shot, but—"

"The rest of the roll was exactly the same." Kakashi put in, to a murmur of assent from the rest of the judges.

"Temari!" Tsunade called, pointing at the last girl.

She walked quickly up to the judges, smirking in a way she picked up from Shikamaru. After the shoot, they had played shougi and Temari found that the lazy model was actually a certified genius. Funny how that works.

He lived in Konoha like her, and they made plans to meet when this was all over and done with.

"Your photos were fantastic. You really had no trouble with portraying the theme." Tsunade said, eyeing the girl interestingly. Of all the girls this season, Temari was the one who was most like her, which she liked.

The picture was the one where they were standing slightly apart, with Shikamaru looking over his shoulder, Temari looking devilshly at the camera, and their pinkies linked.

"I like it." Kakashi said, nodding as he said it. It seemed that was one of the only compliments he dished out. "On the set, Temari and Shikamaru had the best chemistry, apart from Sasuke and Hinata of course."

"Heh, it reminds me of that one picture Tenten took last season," Kurenai muttered, crossing her arms across her chest as she leaned back in her chair. "The seven deadly sins one…"

"Yeah…" Jiraiya mumbled, caught in his musings about Tenten, the winner of last season.

"Alright, thanks girls, the judges will now deliberate!"

* * *

"Four beautiful girls stand before me…" Tsunade said from her post at the head of the catwalk in the judging room. "But only three will move on in the hopes of becoming Konoha's Next Top Model. Oh, but the _prizes_!"

All four of the girls smiled at the prospect of what awaited the winner.

"I know I've said this every week, but you know you gals like to hear it." Tsunade said, putting her finger to her lip in thought. "The winner receives a contract with the Icha Icha modeling agency, a cover and seven page spread in _Seventeen_ magazine, and finally, 100,00 dollars to do as you please."

Sakura put her hand daintily on her chest, heaving a longing sigh. She had read _Seventeen_ magazine ever since she was a little kid. But a bad thought was nagging at her with regard to her performance this week. There was a chance, however small, that she would be going home.

Personally, she both thought and hoped that it would be Karin this week, an opinion shared by Hinata. Temari couldn't care less about who was there and who wasn't to be honest.

"The first name I am going to call…" Tsunade started brightly, her bright brown eyes traveling over the aspiring models. "… is…"

_She does this every week!_ Temari thought bitterly, frowning as she saw Tsunade deliberately hold back.

"Hinata!"

A small gasp was heard as Hinata turned beet red, holding her hands in front of her chest. She took a few unsteady steps forward before composing herself and making her way to collect her photo.

"Hinata, this photo is incredible, but not just because you look beautiful. It's because you tried something new and showed a side of you we haven't seen. Be sure to call that boy up, ne? If not for a date, at least for a modeling partner…"

Hinata bowed, clutching the photo by the edges to avoid smudging. She took her place in front of the screen from before, looking at the picture but mainly at the man in it. Ooh la laa!

"Next name I'm going to call is… Temari!"

Temari smirked, inwardly happy to leave the two annoying girls in the bottom two. She strutted jokingly up to Tsunade, who shot her an identical grin to hers.

"You and Hinata both worked incredibly well with your partners, which in the end played a huge role here at judging. Be sure to keep in touch with your man. Great job this week." She said, handing her the photo daintily.

"Two left." She muttered, turning to face Karin and Sakura as Hinata and Temari shared a little one-armed hug. "What was incredible this week was that nobody had a weak photo, making this decision difficult. Also, keep in mind that just because you may not win here, doesn't mean your career is over."

Karin and Sakura both nodded, with the latter biting her lip in nervousness. The redhead showed no signs of nervousness, sadness, or any emotion at all.

"The girl on the photo that I do not show must pack their bags and leave immediately."

Hinata chanced a glance at Sakura, but the pinkette had all her attention on the busty blonde.

"The biggest problem with both of you is exactly the same. You both have a history of using only one face in all of your shoots your shoots. Although they are always beautiful, a true model needs to know when to change it up. We don't want to be bored when we look through your rolls."

Sakura started fiddling with the hem of the shirt she was wearing. She found a stray thread and wrapped it around her finger over and over again until it was cutting off her circulation.

"So, who goes home? Both are beautiful, talented, worthy of the title Konoha's Next Top Model. Despite the obvious animosity between the two of you, it's impossible to miss the glaring similarities. Because of this, we needed to look on past weeks, but still, we found _nothing_ that really sticks out as worse than the other."

Karin, although at first offended that she had been compared to the little pinky standing next to her, found that her heart was beating painfully loudly in her chest. What if she went home?

"In the end, the girl we chose was chosen not because of her being better than the other… but by personality."

_I'm too girly…_ Sakura thought quickly, comparing herself to the visually more mature girl to her side.

_I'm too… what's wrong with my personality?_ Karin asked herself, trying and failing to figure out any distinct personality trait. (A/N: Uhh, besides the bitchiness of course...)

Slowly, Tsunade took began to turn the photo over as everyone waited with bated breath.

"The girl we choose is… Karin."

Time stopped for the two girls. The decision was made and it was for _her?_

Adorned with a cruel smirk, Karin walked up to Tsunade and was handed her picture.

"Konoha's Next Top Model has to be tough, and has to be able to hold her own when things get rough. Sakura…"

She looked down at the girl they had just let go and watched with sadness as tears started to brim in her pretty emerald eyes. "Come here."

They embraced lightly. "This is not the end for you, Sakura. You are a fantastic model, keep at it."

As Sakura turned to face the remaining three, she saw that Hinata was crying softly, Temari was looking sullen and Karin… Karin was looking like the bitch she always was. She walked over and gave Hinata a big hug, Temari an awkward one-armed thing, and she just flashed a watery smile at Karin.

She walked away from them all, pausing to turn back and throw out a sad little wave. When she was gone, Tsunade heaved a heavy sigh.

"And then there were three…"

X.x.X

The six terrifying murderers sat in silence, thinking about what had happened. It had been a bolt from the blue for all of them except Deidara, who had apparently foreseen it at the beginning of the show. Even Hidan and Kakuzu, who didn't watch the episode in its entirety, did _not_ think Sakura was going to go.

Sasori was… frozen. He didn't move or blink or breathe (not that puppets needed to do that anyway) or _anything_.

"This show is fucking amazing!" Hidan suddenly shouted, turning to face Sasori, who was on his left. "Eh, Sasori?"

The puppet master just sat, his eyes transfixed on the screen.

Kakuzu nudged Itachi who he was closest to. "Hey, what's up with him?"

Itachi looked over at the silent puppet quickly. "Sakura was his girl."

"His favorite? I like the one with the jugs… what's her name… eh… oh, Hinata-chan!" Hidan mumbled, gaining a high-five from Deidara.

"I like Karin." Kakuzu muttered shortly, gaining a look of pure hatred from Sasori, the first time he moved since Karin's name was announced.

"So…" Kisame asked, rolling on his back, and then into a sitting position. "You guys wanna watch this with us next week?"

"You better fucking believe we do!"

* * *

**Scenes from the next episode:**

**With three girls left, the competition is reaching its end. There is only one more photo shoot before the show at the very end. Who will fail to make the final two, shy Hinata, tough Temari, or confident Karin?**

**Sorry guys, I had some authors notes inside the chapter… normally I don't do that, but since this is a complete crack fic, I decided that my comments were good for something. Also, this is turning out to be sort of a world crossover, considering that there is **_**Seventeen**_** magazine. Honestly, I couldn't think of the shinobi world equivalent to something like that… sorry.**

**If you are going to review, now's your chance!**


	3. Prepare to be dazzled!

**There is no excuse for what I have done,**

**But honestly, it wasn't as if I had fun!**

**Avoiding writing is not my thing,**

**It's just that my arm has been in a sling.**

**That's right, you reader's, my arm is broken!**

**Trust me, the truth is here spoken…**

**It's my dominant arm too, to make matters worse,**

**So with one hand I write this clever verse.**

**I now type so slowly yet I won't resign.**

**-sigh- Naruto is sadly not of mine.**

* * *

"Where the fuck is Kakuzu?" Hidan shouted, glancing over his shoulder at the door for the twentieth time in the last five minutes. (Deidara had been counting)

"He should be here already…" Itachi mumbled, throwing out a huge sigh.

Sasori just shook his head. "It's the season finale—"

"Which is precisely why we need the Chinese food!" Deidara called out, licking his lips. "Yeah, I don't think we should worry… he'll be here."

Kisame nodded in approval. "We have a good ten minutes left."

The five murderers lapsed into a slightly awkward silence. They fidgeted in their own ways, for example, Hidan fingered his pendant and Itachi wiggled his toes in order to have something to do. At eight minutes to seven, both Deidara and Sasori were struck with the same thought and stood abruptly.

"I should look for him…" They both said, only with Deidara adding "Yeah!" at the end of his statement.

Their quest was cut short by Kakuzu opening the door calmly, a few tentacles carrying many bags that smelled fantastic. "I'm back. Look who I found?"

Stepping aside, he revealed Tobi and Zetsu standing in the doorway. Tobi was bouncing on the balls of his feet while his companion stood as passively as a bipolar, cannibalistic Aloe Vera plant characteristically would.

Tobi, with the ever-present personality of a puppy, took a few steps into the room. "Kakuzu-senpai said that we could watch with you if I paid for the food!"

All the men in the room sweat-dropped except for Kakuzu, Tobi and Zetsu.

"Alright," Kisame mumbled, casting an anxious look at the digital clock on the T.V. "We got four minutes left, so quick dish out the food. You got my seafood soup, ne?"

There was nothing more terrifying than seeing the Akatsuki, save two, go after their dinner. The reactions varied from princessy to flighty to potentially fatal.

On one side of the table, Itachi and Deidara both battled with their chopsticks for spring rolls while Kakuzu and Tobi were in a catfight (complete with slapping the others hands down) to get first servings of rice. Meanwhile, Kisame quickly grabbed the bag his soup and fixings were in and, holding his chopsticks in his mouth, fled over to his spot where he sat cross-legged and began to eat. Hidan just grabbed all he could, successfully spilling a plate of orange chicken to the ground, at which Kakuzu cried out in anger (after losing his fight for the rice against Tobi), that having been his dish.

Sasori and Zetsu, unable to eat and cannibalistic, stood to the side, not wanting to get in the way and maybe lose an eye.

"Shit guys, one minute!" Kisame shouted, causing all the men to flash back to their seats, reminiscent of the "Yellow Flicker" of Konoha.

Reaching over with a tentacle, Kakuzu turned up the volume while Deidara sent a clay spider to turn off the lights. With half of a minute to go, Tobi spoke.

"Wait, what are we watching?"

Everyone except Zetsu hung their heads in shame, hoping the god of 'Konoha's Next Top Model' wouldn't kill them for that statement.

"_You wanna be on top?_"

* * *

_Two more to knock off…_ Karin thought, shooting a tentative look at Temari and Hinata, staying as quiet as they always did. _Great, at least Forehead spoke from time to time… I'm stuck with the mutes. _

Temari heaved a huge sigh and fell backward onto her bed, her arms spread out and her hair out of its usual four ponies. _I thought it'd be Karin… I can handle Sakura at least, but not four-eyes over there. _

"Um…" Hinata muttered, her pearly eyes on her feet as she tried to address them. "What do you guys want for dinner?"

She was rather nervous dishing out that question, especially now that Sakura had left. It had always been the pinkette who answered while Temari usually said nothing and Karin usually huffed and left the room. Now she was left with a tough crowd.

Temari shot her a weak smile that implied that she didn't care while Karin just glared at the very mention of food, more specifically: _carbohydrates_.

Something obviously snapped in the normally shy girl, probably from Karin's ridiculous behavior. She just picked her head up and squared her jaw. "You know what? It doesn't matter anyway considering Temari will just eat it and Karin will just puke it up afterwards…"

Whoa… _Did I just say that out loud?_

The redhead tilted her head forward as if she didn't really hear what Hinata had said. Obviously not caring, Hinata just turned on her heel and waltzed out with the dignity of her newly sought-after profession.

There was a small silence where they both heard the refrigerator slam. Temari let out a low whistle, staring straight above her as she lay on her back.

"Shut up, dike."

The blonde sat up as Karin said that and looked at her incredulously, as if asking if she was really serious. "Of all the things you can call me that are actually valid, you say _that_?"

"Do I need to repeat myself?" Karin snapped, flipping her hair as she turned so that her back was facing her adversary.

Temari's eyebrows were in danger of being lost in her bangs; they were so high at this point. She got up with her hands in front of her chest in protection. "I'll just let you stew in your bitch juice a little longer."

She stalked out after Hinata, leaving one pissed-as-hell Karin behind.

In the kitchen, Hinata was cooking up a storm, creating some kind of mouth-watering stir-fry. The hissing of the vegetables in the pan as she flipped them over in the air drowned out the sound of Temari's footsteps as she came in.

She jumped when Temari called loudly. "O-oh! What kind of sauce do you want? We've got mild curry, hot curry, sweet and sour—"

"I'll have what you're having." Temari interrupted, taking a seat at the large island in the middle of Hinata's (claimed) kitchen.

Karin was just a little figment in their memories by now. Notable in both their personalities is to shut out the unpleasant stuff and not get aggravated because of said things. Hinata put the hand holding the spoon on her hip and turned to face her comrade.

"I was going to have what you're having..."

"Then this is quite the pickle, I reckon."

O.o.O

"Hey girlies!! Are you ready for your challenge?" Jariya cooed, smiling his bright smile at the final three. They were standing outside on the sidewalk, seemingly about to head into a medium sized office building to their direct left.

When they nodded, cheered and smirked (Hinata, Karin, Temari, respectively), Jariya raised a fisted hand into the air. "Your challenge…"

Their anticipation was mounting at his purposeful hesitation. (The Akatsuki audience was, if it were possible, even more anxious to know what _their_ girls had to do next)

"… is…"

He smirked and threw whatever he was holding directly at the ground at his feet. His getaway bomb exploded and quickly engulfed him in white smoke. The girls all looked around the urban street they were on; trying to find where he had ran off to.

"STYLIST FOR A DAY!"

All three girls looked up in unison to see Jariya peeking his head and torso out of a window two stories above.

_How on earth did he get up there so quickly? _ Hinata thought vaguely, putting her hand to her forehead to block out the sun as she looked at him. Temari and Karin likewise covered their eyes as they looked up.

"Come on up and we'll give you the details."

Temari and Hinata exchanged a glance and a shrug before following Karin into the building and up the stairs.

"This is Orochimaru," Jariya introduced once the girls all filed in to the medium sized, yet very high-end salon. Orochimaru had flowing, long, black hair that rivaled Hinata's in its glory as well as odd but interesting yellow-y eye makeup. "He is one of the best stylists in all the villages, and an old friend of mine."

"Pleased to meet you all." He muttered, bowing a little to them all. His voice had a weird wheeze that closely resembled a hiss. "Your challenge is simple, I have here a pair of triplets," he motioned with his hand to a group of three girls who the models didn't see. "You will each apply makeup and a haircut to one of these ladies, and I will judge what I think is the best look. Simple right?"

The three girls were identical, with pale skin and long, center-parted hair. The only differences were in the hair color. One had bright blonde, one had chocolate brown and one had pitch black. Basically a blank canvas, the perfect basis of which to sculpt something interesting.

Jariya drew attention back to himself with a slight and very fake cough. "Yes, so… you have one hour to glamify your girl… starting… NOW!"

O.o.O

_Shit… shitshitshit. I've never done this before!_ Temari thought angrily, shooting a quick glance at Karin to see what she was doing to her girl. _And it looks like Karin has… _

Her girl was looking at her oddly, as if waiting for her to start.

Temari threw one look at her blonde client and squared her jaw tightly. "Here I go!"

Karin was in her zone. She had always styled and cut her own hair, as well as administered her own make-up application. With an evil smirk, she picked up a pair of scissors and turned the chair her girl sat in around to face the mirror. She eyed her girl's black hair lightly, trying to size it up.

"Anything in particular?" She asked, giving off another smirk as the girl shook her head lightly. "Alright then, prepare to be dazzled!"

Hinata was tilting her head, looking at her girl appraisingly. _What should I do?_ She had some experience with styling hair (her little sister had many times pleaded with her to do her hair) but not anything that required _scissors_.

She picked them up daintily, not knowing where she should start. "Um… what's your name?"

The girl (the brunette) looked up at her oddly, as if that question was taboo. She looked over at her sisters for a second before looking back up at Hinata. "Kariya."

"Alright Kariya-san, is there anything you want?"

Kariya shook her head. "We're supposed to let you do it all, Hinata-san. Sorry."

Hinata waved her hands in front of her chest as she shut her eyes and smiled. "Ah! Don't apologize, I was just wondering! Okay then, are you ready for this?"

O.o.O

An hour later, the triplets stood facing Orochimaru, standing still under his professional eye. "Hmm… I wasn't expecting them to be this good. Well, I mean good for amateurs."

Karin's face turned red and a little anger mark appeared over her head. _Amateur quality? Is he blind?!_

Her girl was sporting a truly glamorous look, but not quite the stereotypical glamorous. She now had a fohawk (think Naima Mora, the winner of ANTM season 4) that went nicely with the girl's bone structure. Karin had gone make-up crazy, though not whoreish-ly so. All in all, it looked amazing.

Hinata cast a small look at Kariya and her creation. It was a short, semi boyish cut with a sweeping side part (think Haruhi from Ouran High School Host Club). She had gone for light makeup that accentuated her brown eyes. She basically looked like Haruhi (from OHSHC).

(A/N: Since I failed horribly at describing, just look the resemblances up on google...)

Temari wasn't too proud of her cut. It was just okay, nothing on the caliber of Hinata and Karin. Her girl had her blonde hair up in a high ponytail with a side part covering one of her eyes. It was pretty, but simple. She chose to go with no make-up just because she felt that she would ruin it if she tried something like that. (note: in case you didn't get that, she styled her like Ino)

"After careful deliberation," Orochimaru started, moving his scary eyes over the girls in turn. "I have to say we have a tie."

He immediately dropped his cool, professional demeanor and leapt to the side of Karin's girl. There was a satisfied smirk pasted on his face. "Yoko looks so spicy and edgy now! I love it! But she's also very _cool_. That's it, _cool_ and _spicy_!"

Hinata jumped back in alarm as he seemed to teleport to her girl's side in a split second. He had stars in his watering eyes as he looked over Kariya. "But Kariya-chan looks so cuuUUuute! This is so sweet, it's like a sundae with chocolate and cherries on top! Just looking at you would rot someone's teeth! _Innocent_ and _sweet_!"

Karin, Hinata and Temari all sweat dropped at his antics. What a ridiculous judge.

"Here is our tie! And since the winner gets to take a friend, YOU BOTH WILL GO!"

After his bout of silly giddiness, Orochimaru appeared at Jariya's side in a flash, once again adopting his professional cool. "Hinata-chan and Karin-chan are the winners!"

Jariya flashed his toothy grin. "Congratulations ladies! Your prize is a one-minute raid of the store of your choice! Orochimaru will escort you wherever you want to go, so please follow him!"

* * *

"GO HINATA-CHAN!!" Deidara shouted as the commercials popped up again. Itachi and Kisame, whose girl didn't win, glared daggers at Deidara who was now locked in a staring contest with Kakuzu.

That stare-off was fitting, considering that Kakuzu liked Karin and Deidara liked Hinata. Soon Hidan joined the battle on the side of Deidara.

"This show is ridiculous!" Tobi called from where he sat in the corner. Sasori, Deidara and Kisame all shot him glares of pure death, causing him to sweat-drop and put his hands in front of his chest to protect himself. "Not that I don't like it of course!!"

* * *

"H-hey Temari?"

Temari looked over her shoulder, still chewing on a stick from a kabob that Hinata had just made. "Eh?"

Hinata, having already eaten in her excursion with Orochimaru and Karin, had made Temari some food to save her from whatever dish the blonde might compose. She was blushing slightly. "Do… do you want the clothes that don't fit me?"

_Ah, the raid… She's too sweet._ Temari knew why Hinata was blushing. Known to all three of the girls was Hinata's hourglass frame that put both Karin's and Temari's to shame. Hinata had a larger chest than Temari and more prominent hips, it was no surprise that Hinata would probably _need_ to hock off some of what she had grabbed. And of course, knowing the Hyuga, she would be embarrassed as all hell to just admit plainly that she had larger breasts.

"You bet your ass I do! Thanks Hinata, that's really kind of you."

"Well, what else would I do with them?"

From her spot hiding in the hall leading to the kitchen, Karin overheard the conversation and scoffed. To make friends in this competition was the equivalent of failure in her eyes. _Who would want that? I mean neither of them is going to see the other ever again probably. Temari travels around a lot and Hinata… I don't know. They are just setting themselves up to lose!_

At the same time she thought that, a part of her pained for not having the friendship with anyone like they did. She was jealous because hey, it was lonely being the bitch!

* * *

**Scenes from the next episode:**

_**Ich mag die Augen von jedem im Zimmer fangen, aber ich will meine Makel dazu nicht! Es gibt nur einen Fall, wo ich hasse, bemerkt zu werden, und es ist, wenn es zu meiner Tarnung kommt. Mit der Kunoichi Cosmetics neuer Göttin-Abdeckstift bekomme ich nie jede unerwünschte Aufmerksamkeit darauf, was ich gesehen nicht will. Es geht glatt ohne Klötze weiter, und ich kann es kaum fühlen, wenn es darauf ist! Keine Parteivorbereitungen sind jetzt ohne es abgeschlossen! Treten Sie Venus zur Seite, es gibt eine neue Göttin in der Stadt.**_

**I think my first note kinda spelled it all out. I lost my right hand (my dominant) to a dreadfully bulky cast and now I type one-handed. Please, no pity, I feel too terrible already because of my horrendous updating.**

**I'll try to go faster, I swear.**


	4. Bitchy? Me?

**Whoops, guess who hasn't updated in, admittedly, a long time? Ahaha… yes I'm here and ready for some fucking awesome modeling.**

**Also, I regret to inform you that I will be paying more attention to my other fic (that you should check out if you haven't) because I have had a mountain of people lamenting my lack of updating on that. So I have to oblige and go bankai on that one.**

**KNTM has always been kind of second priority to me, to be honest. But don't think that I will stop, because I will not until this sucker is done!**

**Also, I have a bit of fan art made for me from the illustrious BlackFeatherz29, and the link is on my profile. So you guys should check it out. Since I'm a total noob, I couldn't figure out how to make the link I put into a full-fledged blue-fonted-with-underline link, so just copy what I have a paste it into the... thingy... web browser thing. **

**Now onto the story before you all locate me and hire trained assassins to do me in. Either that or you'll come kill me with your bare hands.**

**Yikes.**

**Naruto is not of mine.**

**I know, it's a fucking crime!**

* * *

Scene's from Last Episode:

From her spot hiding in the hall leading to the kitchen, Karin overheard the conversation and scoffed. To make friends in this competition was the equivalent of failure in her eyes. _Who would want that? I mean neither of them is going to see the other ever again probably. Temari travels around a lot and Hinata… I don't know. They are just setting themselves up to lose!_

At the same time she thought that, a part of her pained for not having the friendship with anyone like they did. She was jealous because hey, it was lonely being the bitch!

* * *

They came to it at last, that which was hated the most. The part of the show that messed up so many girls it was uncanny. Even the Akatsuki started to get worried for their girls as the event happened.

Yes, it was filming the commercial.

"Here we go girls, today you are going to do a commercial for Kunoichi Cosmetics, which you know is the largest cosmetic company in Konoha, maybe even the world." Tsunade herself was there today, and it was her who had addressed them.

"Make-up and outfits await you in the back, so please get suited up. Karin is going to be first."

When the girls got back and looked at their lines, they were met with a pleasant surprise. Well, pleasant for the resident bluenette.

It was written in German. Hinata had studied German in school and was pretty close to fluency by now. A huge weight was lifted off her shoulders at this new prospect.

Karin was not so happy.

"What the fuck is this shit?"

That was a complete understatement.

"German…" Hinata muttered lightly, lightly brushing by the fuming redhead as she made her way to her station.

Temari followed Hinata, who noticed something about her friend's state. "Hey! Do you speak German?"

Hinata turned and flashed her a quick smile, ascertaining Temari's theory.

Their outfits were simple, one-color dresses. Hinata got a crisp, white halter dress that fanned out slightly at her knees. Temari got a deep plum, strapless dress that clung to her frame lightly but sexily. Karin got a bright red, slightly normal dress that nonetheless looked amazing on her.

Their hair would just be natural, but their dressers still found the need to dress it up a little, putting in a hint of spray or fluffing it. The make-up was natural as well, and when her dresser was administering blush Hinata looked down at the lines.

Translated, it read:

_I like to catch the eyes of everybody in the room, but I don't want my blemishes to! There is only one case where I hate to be noticed and that's when it comes to my cover-up. With Kunoichi Cosmetics new Goddess Concealer, I never get any unwanted attention on what I don't want seen. It goes on smooth, with no chunks, and I can hardly feel it when it's on! No party preparations are complete now without it! Step aside Venus, there's a new goddess in town. _

Hinata smirked. It was totally ridiculous and what was best was that she could, if memory failed her, just improvise.

Karin stared so hard at her paper that onlookers thought it would catch on fire. _I can do this! It's not that hard… _"Ich mag die… Augen von jedem im Zimmer fangen, aber ich will meine… meine Makel dazu nicht… Es g-gibt nur einen Fall, wo ich hasse, bem-merkt zu werden, und es… ist? wenn es zu meiner Tar-nun-g kommt? Oh fuck it!"

Throwing the paper aside, she huffed loudly glaring at the sheet where it now lay on the counter. A few tense moments later she snatched it and tried again. "Ich mag die Augen von…"

Her dresser, who decided to take pity on the poor girl, pointed out a few words she was mispronouncing and was surprised when Karin heeded him. "You can get it if you just know what you are doing wrong and learn the basis of pronunciation."

Karin looked back at him intensely, an odd light burning in her red eyes. She nodded, which started his explanation. She caught on quickly, getting more and more comfortable with it as she went along. There were still some mistakes, but they weren't very noticeable. _Now I'm going to kick ass!_

Temari had a rather rudimentary knowledge of German pronunciation, having met a girl who spoke it as her first language before. She knew how each of the words was supposed to sound, but knew her downfall would be memorizing.

"Ich mag die Augen von jedem im Zimmer fangen, aber ich will meine Makel dazu nicht! Es gibt nur einen Fall, wo ich hasse, bemerkt zu werden, und es ist, wenn es zu meiner Tarnung kommt. Mit der Kunoichi Cosmetics neuer Göttin-Abdeckstift bekomme ich nie jede unerwünschte Aufmerksamkeit darauf, was ich gesehen nicht will. Es geht glatt ohne Klötze weiter, und ich kann es kaum fühlen, wenn es darauf ist! Keine Parteivorbereitungen sind jetzt ohne es abgeschlossen! Treten Sie Venus zur Seite, es gibt eine neue Göttin in der Stadt."

She heaved a huge sigh as she finished the paragraph. "I'm fucked."

Their filming zone (obstacle course) was essentially a party, based in a very large and modern house that had professional models 'acting' their part by sipping on their colorful cosmopolitans and martinis. They were laughing jovially, as if whatever they were whisper-talking about was hella funny. Either that or they were already drunk.

Amidst all the beautiful people, Karin seemed to fit in more than the other two. Hinata was shy and kept eyeing those around her furtively, considering when they looked at her she would "Eep!" and blush. Temari was just as indifferent as ever, although she carried a hint of wariness that made her look slightly awkward.

Karin was, as with the cutting hair, in her zone.

"Alright girls, are you ready?" Tsunade asked brightly, clapping her hands together as if to call them to order. She began to walk them through the course they would take, pausing every now and then to mingle with the partygoers as part of the act. She even eyed one of the males up and down and shot him a little wink,

When she came back, Hinata was shaking in her designer white heels. She was shy and had been this whole competition; this was going to be the worst thing she would have to endure yet. She quickly ran through the lines in her head, grateful that she had them memorized.

"So, as we said, Karin is first, and then comes Hinata and then Temari. Gambatte!" Tsunade walked steadily towards the camera and sat down next to Jariya behind the camera. He shot them a double thumbs up.

_Great, I'm last…_ Temari thought bitterly, biting her lip. _I hate going last…_

Karin was, as was to be expected, incredible. She messed up on some words, forgot a whole line and even accidentally accused whom she was talking to of tax evasion, but she still did well. She was the person who seemed to _belong_ in high society, trading gossip with the rich and famous and sipping on her Appletini.

When she walked her course, it was as if she was meant to be there. She laughed with people she passed, shot winks to attractive people (both male and female), and even grabbed a drink from someone holding it on a tray with all the poise a model should have. But all of this she did when she had a break from her lines for the whole _acting_ bit.

It was quite possible to say that she had maybe taken it a bit far, but that was up to the judges to decide. For now, Karin stood triumphantly in her red pumps by Hinata, cruelly and passively psyching her out as she waited for them to call her for her turn.

* * *

"Alright, I'm off to go kill that bitch…" Hidan bit, actually standing and reaching for his trusty scythe that lay against the wall. Deidara calmly got up with him as well "Yeah, I think I will accompany you!"

They both really liked Hinata.

"Shall we go send someone off to Jashin, my friend?" Hidan asked, offering his arm to Deidara and adopting a (terrible) British accent.

Deidara took it with pleasure. "Right-o, sir! That bitch had it coming!"

They were about to skip out the door together when a dozen tentacles reached around their legs and pulled them back to their spots.

Itachi shook his head in disapproval at their antics. He knew that the only reason they hadn't actually killed her yet was because they wanted to appear refined for _afterward_ when they actually met Hinata. Bad logic.

"I would prefer--" Kakuzu muttered darkly, still holding them down in their spots with his tentacles. "--if you refrained from killing my girl."

"What, you like the bitch?" Kisame asked angrily, sitting up to the angered yells of those behind him who were not in the fight. It was a commercial, but you know how people get when you block any screen from them, regardless of the content.

"I don't like her!" Tobi said, and although they couldn't see it they could tell from his voice that he was pouting.

"Well," Kakuzu started, throwing a look around the whole group. "Who wants to set up a bet? You put money on your girl to win, and when the girl gets out, the money stays in the pot! In which case, I like her because nobody else does, hence more money."

Normally, nobody would have gone into a monetary bet with Kakuzu, but each believed so much in their respective girls that they all agreed. The list ended up being:

Temari: Itachi, Kisame, Tobi

Hinata: Deidara, Hidan, Zetsu (simply because she had the most meat)

Karin: Kakuzu

Sasori was out of the game and didn't want to get attached to another girl like he had for Sakura. He deliberately stopped himself from picking a favorite out of the remaining girls. Poor guy.

* * *

Hinata was… eh… _better_ than she thought she was going to be. She said all the lines clearly and was just the perfect little cherub. But, alas, when someone attempted to mingle with her, she would blush and pretend to be sociable while killing it with her shyness. She even stumbled over her shoes when a particularly attractive young man waved and winked at her.

So, in the end, you could say that she failed the acting but aced the lines. Sadly though, that didn't seem to be what the judges were looking for and Karin couldn't help but rub it in her face for it.

"Well, I will say one thing," Karin said, smiling the fake smile she picked up from Sakura and Sai from the last episode. "You'd certainly be the hottest German professor I've ever met…"

Hinata blushed, thinking that Karin was done but _no_.

"I mean one of the ones who don't talk very much other than the language they teach. You know what they say, 'those who can't do, teach'."

That was cruel. A cruel statement from a cruel girl. Hinata seemed near to tears when Temari, who was about to go through hell, a.k.a. the shoot, stepped in.

"Yes, and those who can do neither are generally named _Karin_." She growled, shooting the redhead an annoyed glare.

Ok, so that was totally immature and just stupid, but the affect was good. Karin let out an indignant noise somewhere between a cry and a huff. She was about to retort with something equally immature when someone shouted for Temari to go.

With one last venom glance exchanged between Temari and Karin, the former waltzed off.

Terribly for Temari, her fight had driven all thoughts of German out of her head.

* * *

"I have three _beautiful _girls standing in front of me." Tsunade cooed the start of her weekly elimination speech. "But only two will move on to the final and only one will be Konoha's Next Top Model. You know all about the prizes, so this week; I won't bother you with the details. They're good prizes."

Kakashi, at his judge's seat, nodded as she said this. To the direct left of him sat the serpentine Orochimaru who was looking at Karin intently. Creeeepy. Next to the standing Tsunade sat Jariya, who smiled evenly at all the girls in turn. Kurenai, who was recently showing signs of a baby bump (courtesy of country singer, Asuma) was the final on the far right. Tsunade sat down daintily, throwing a smirk at the girls.

"This week, the challenge was to be a stylist for a day—"

"—Although it was only for an hour technically…" Jariya muttered audibly to Kurenai. The statement made a giant vein throb in Tsunade's temple.

"Hey, I thought it was a good name!" Kakashi protested lightly, shrugging.

Orochimaru, who the girls had expected to speak far sooner, stood up suddenly, his eyes shining with stars. Oddly enough he suddenly had a background of roses. "Once a stylist…" he twirled on his toes in a pirouette that would make any prima ballerina gain superpowers from overexposure to too much radioactive envy.

"... Always a stylist!

His background turned back to normal as he held a dramatic pose. The fellow judges all sweat-dropped in unison.

"Well," Kurenai muttered, looking between Jariya and Tsunade oddly, trying to comprehend why the pair of them was ever friends with him.

"Moving on!" Tsunade barked, shaking herself out of a reverie. "It was a tie between Hinata and Karin! Congratulations girls…"

Hinata blushed and Karin just smirked at the compliment.

Feeling that this was dragging on sluggishly, Tsunade jumped ahead. "Also this week was the dreaded, the terrible, the very _German_ commercial! Are you girls ready to see the commercial that will actually be put up on national television? Well, you better be, because here it is!"

She pointed to the large monitor that was on the wall to their left that always showed their pictures. It took a moment for the video to start to play, but then it came out of the blackness.

_Temari walked commandingly through a group of chatting socialites, grabbing their attention before she spoke. "Ich mag die Augen von jedem im Zimmer fangen, aber ich will meine Makel dazu nicht!" She shrugged on the last word, which went well with what she was actually saying (without her knowing it)._

_The scene flashed to Hinata who was smiling sweetly as she walked near the bar. She daringly caught the eye of the cute bartender and waved before saying her bit. "Es gibt nur einen Fall, wo ich hasse, bemerkt zu werden, und es ist, wenn es zu meiner Tarnung kommt."_

_After her line, she turned right and disappeared into a crowd. Next was Karin who twirled and spun past a few people sexily before reaching someone holding a platter of drinks and snatching a glass. "Mit der Kunoichi Cosmetics neuer Göttin-Abdeckstift bekomme ich nie jede unerwünschte Aufmerksamkeit darauf, was ich gesehen nicht will."_

_Karin was chatting with a small group of people during the little break where they had to act. Next was Temari who danced her way through a clump of dancers, lingering for a slightly longer amount of time on a hot guy. After that, the scene switched to Hinata sitting at the bar and blushing when someone came up to talk to her. _

"_Es geht glatt ohne Klötze weiter,--" Temari winked into the camera as she said her next bit. She was cut off in the middle of the line, however, by Hinata by the bar. "--und ich kann es kaum fühlen, wenn es darauf ist!"_

_Karin was flirting with a very cute punk girl in the next scene, but she didn't have any lines. Smiling widely and with her ever-present blush, Hinata delivered both her line and what should have been Karin's. "Keine Parteivorbereitungen sind jetzt ohne es abgeschlossen! Treten Sie Venus zur Seite—"_

_The last half-line went to Temari, who stood with her back to the camera, looking devilishly over her shoulder. "--es gibt eine neue Göttin in der Stadt."_

There was an awkward silence while the girls tried to figure out if they actually did decent. Kakashi starting to clap slowly broke it. Tsunade, Kurenai, Orochimaru and Jariya all joined in. Blushing scarlet, Hinata looked down at her feet, while Karin and Temari both smirked.

Their host was beaming. "Well done."

Kakashi was slightly twisted in his seat as he stole another look to the screen. "This might be the best commercial ever done or that ever will be done on this show."

"The way you each had a different yet similar approach was just… incredible!" Kurenai gushed, completely blown away.

Jariya, always one to catch every little detail cleared his throat to ask for attention. "Karin only really had one line didn't she? What does that mean?"

He obviously wasn't expecting an answer to come so he just plowed on ahead. "You didn't do the lines very well I'm assuming…"

"On that topic…" Tsunade muttered, putting a finger to her lip in thought. "Hinata had the most lines. Looks like someone studied, right Hina?"

Hinata nodded while blushing, afraid to say why she had been so good. But Temari wasn't afraid.

"She's fluent in German actually…" The blonde shrugged as she said this. The judges all changed their expressions to varying degrees of interest and admiration.

_Why is she glorifying me? Isn't she in this competition to win?_ Hinata thought quickly behind her rabid blush. Now that she thought about it however, Temari had been acting weird for the last few days. Though not one with a persistent drive, it had been obvious from the beginning that she wanted to win.

But now she seemed to just drop whatever drive she had and was now just herself minus the competitive spirit. As if she failed to care anymore.

"That's really incredible Hinata…" Kakashi said, nodding his approval. "You Temari were good as well. Not saying that you were particularly lively, but you just exuded that bad girl vibe that made you seem to fit in. Not quite like Karin who looked almost drunk fitting in. The combined commercial was fabulous."

Temari, who had not expected her compliment towards to Hinata to turn back to her, just nodded and smiled a little.

"Well," Tsunade clapped her hands together. "It's deduction time! Good luck girls!"

* * *

Tobi was fidgeting when the show flashed to a commercial. "This is really nerve-racking…"

Though usually bursting out the normally accurate assumptions as to who was to leave as they did at this time, the original four were silent. The rest were totally lost, not knowing what the outcome would be.

"Hm…" Sasori muttered with his arms crossed over his chest. He was the only one who didn't have a girl, so logically his opinion would be the most valid and least biased. "I don't know quite what to say… It could be Temari—" he nodded to her supporters. "—Because she didn't win the challenge and did so-so on lines in the commercial. It could be Hinata—" he nodded to a different set of fans. "—Because she was the most shy on the commercial. It could also be Karin because she didn't do well on lines."

His gaze fell last on Kakuzu. Deidara gaped at his partner's little speech. He said it in such a cool and collected tone he was slightly in awe. The blonde himself was almost melting in nervousness. Yes, _melting_.

"I suppose we'll just have to wait and see." Itachi stated, surprisingly calm for having no grasp on the situation of elimination.

* * *

"Okay girls, are you ready?"

No, they weren't.

_It could be me! I was really shy and nervous on the commercial…_ Hinata thought in despair, pressing the pads of her fingers together as a habit.

_I didn't win the challenge so… it might be me. _Temari thought solidly, any trace of anxiety unnoticeable.

_Oh shit… shit shit shit. I was in the bottom two last week and I fucked up my lines this week! _Karin, on the other hand, was fidgeting madly, shifting her weight between her two feet.

Tsunade smiled warmly at all of them, even still doubting the decision that had been made. But she couldn't back out of it now because she lacked one picture in her hands. The pictures were ones of the girls that were screenshots from the commercial.

"Listen to me you three beautiful women. If we thought last week was hard…" She trailed off into nothing, thinking about the Karin versus Sakura conundrum. "I had half a mind to not eliminate anybody this week, but I cannot do that twice in one season."

It was true. When it got town to final six, Anko was the last one, but Tsunade surprised them by saying that nobody would be leaving this week. Anko had been booted the next week, admittedly.

"That being said, the first name I am going to call is…"

Ah, the deliberate hesitation would never get old.

"My shy, German-speaking Hina."

_Eh!?_ Hinata quickly went from red in the face to completely pale. She stumbled herself halfway up the catwalk before finding her composure and making it to Tsunade. Grabbing her photo, she bowed very low before straightening up and smiling weakly.

"For a while we all thought that to be a good model you had to be the life of the party, just explosion with confidence. I speak for _all_ the judges when I say that you changed that. Congratulations, you're still in the running to become Konoha's Next Top Model. But keep in mind Hinata, that some people in the modeling world won't be as nice about you being so… nice."

"I-I understand. T-thank you very much!" Hinata stammered, bowing again before scurrying over to her secured spot by the screen. There were no sighs of relief from her as she was worried about Temari.

Although it hadn't been a dream that the two of them would be in the final two together, she could now say that she did want that. Karin was a conniving bitch who didn't deserve it.

And now it was Temari versus Karin in the bottom two.

"Will you girls please step forward…" As they obliged, Tsunade felt her composure break. Her posture fell a little. "I am going to tell you right now that whoever leaves now is not a failure. They have a very bright and beautiful future ahead of them and should never, _ever_, give it up."

Temari and Karin both nodded in unison.

"I have before me two talent ladies. Karin, you completely rocked at being a stylist and you fit in so well at the party. But we, the judges, detect, and have for some time now, this ugly meanness that drives people away. Forgive me for saying, but your bitchiness isn't what the modeling world wants or needs."

Narrowing her eyes, Karin glared slightly. _Bitchy? Me?! _

"And then we have Temari who, though she didn't win, did in fact put forth a good hairstyle and really did well in the commercial with both the lines and the acting. You performance this week was very _very_ good. But we feel that you seem to be a little less driven than Karin…"

Temari looked at her feet, knowing that that criticism was coming.

"So who goes home? The snappy personality or the indifferent one?"

Good question. The watchers at home are probably on their toes for the outcome.

Temari threw a painful glance back to her panel before turning her attention to the girls. "… It looks like the industry can handle just one more diva. Congratulations Karin, you're still in the running to become Konoha's Next Top Model."

With shaking hands, Karin took the photo and walked to Hinata's side. The Hyuga was looking at her feet, tears starting to cloud her pearly eyes.

"Temari…"

The blonde walked lightly up to Tsunade, trying and failing to break through her sadness with her trademark smirk.

"You are an incredible model and we all know and respect that. However without the proper drive what is it worth? I'm sure you will make it in the modeling industry, just not quite right now. Go on and keep doing your best. I'm sure you will become great. What am I saying, you already are!"

Temari just nodded and walked off the catwalk, facing Hinata and Karin. It hurt her a little to see Hinata teary so she held her arms out as she strolled over, inviting her in a hug that she accepted wholeheartedly.

"I c-can't believe you're leaving me with h-her…" she whispered, making Temari laugh lightly.

"Sorry about that."

After the exchange between friends, Temari shot a fake smile to Karin who returned it with an equally fake one. Ah, the entertainment of rival models…

She began her walk out, pausing at the doorway to turn halfway and smirk her true smirk. "Later."

And then she was gone.

* * *

"No… no." Kisame muttered, putting his face in his hands as he lamented. "It can't be."

Tobi was likewise depressed, only he showed his a little more emotionally. "I don't like this at all… I thought she was going to win for sure!"

The last member of the Temari fan club however, didn't seem sad. Itachi was annoyed. "Che, she's too good for this loser game. This show has gone to the dogs for sure."

Crickets.

He got up off the couch and simply walked right out of the room, shutting the door behind him lightly.

"Wow." Deidara muttered, looking over his shoulder at the door. Hidan followed his gaze.

A minute passed in a shocked silence before the door opened and Itachi walked back in. He swiftly made his was back to his spot, sitting down as if nothing had happened. Before his comrades could ask, he decided to set them straight.

"Scene's from the next…"

* * *

**Der we go!**

**This one was long as balls… AND I really didn't like writing it. I personally don't think it's as good as the few before it, but that's up to you readers to decide.**

_**Scenes from the Next Episode:**_

_**To quote Gandalf, "So we come to it at last, the great battle of our time."**__** Well, not exactly, but it is the final battle. Loud versus quiet, outgoing versus shy, devilishness versus innocence… Karin versus Hinata. With the title of Konoha's Next Top Model on the line, who will come out on top?**_


	5. Konoha's Next Top Model

So I was futzing around on Word and decided to look in my folder titled, "Old Fiction"

I was liek whut.

I spy a document entitled "KNTM final" and was hit by a bolt of fiery, destructive SHAME AND GUILT. I open it and see I wrote the first damn scene and that was it.

As such, instead of studying for my math final dashdjasklda I decided to finish it.

God I missed this.

BEFORE YOU ALL DIE YES THERE WILL BE AN EPILOGUE.

I recommend reading the one that came before this, because I had to read it like 3 times to regain my flow.

* * *

Nobody wished for Karin to win except Kakuzu. The tentacle bastard didn't even care about the girl, he just wanted the astronomical amount of cash that came with her win.

Deidara, head of the Hinata Brigade, was very testy with Kakuzu in the week leading up to the finale. Testy, of course, meaning apt to throw bombs every now and then. In his heart of hearts, Deidara truly believed that Hinata was going to be the winner, but even he couldn't say it for sure considering they didn't know how she would fare in the final episode. Something bad might happen, like Karin breaking Hinata's arm or some bullshit.

Because of this seed of doubt, Deidara had a plan.

And that plan was popcorn bombs. They look like a harmless treat, but truly were a terrible evil. If Kazuku won... it wouldn't happen, but IF Kazuku won the bet and Karin won... Deidara would blow his fucking head off.

As the days passed by slowly, the manly men of the Akatsuki were all on edge. A simple television show really shouldn't have had this much power over the most powerful criminals in the world. But Holy Tsunade, it did.

Thank god Pein didn't have any missions for them to go on. The results might have been a) an unnecessary massacre, or b) a complete failure. Probably both.

Finally... the day arrived.

"Now..." Sasori began, being the designated mediator of the show. "We..."

Despite a speech needing to be made, the Scorpion of the Red Sands was at a loss for words. The season of this show had brought the men together closer than they had ever been. Not to say that was a good or a bad thing... but it appeared that with a common obsession the men could work together quite well. A fact that did not escape Kazuku's keen insight.

He was planning something, they all knew. But it didn't even matter. Nothing really mattered. They all felt like empty shells. This was it. It was the end. After this they would go back to their lives of murder.

As such, nobody would let this night be ruined.

But the forces of the universe had other plans.

You know those inexplicable occasions where technology just breaks? Your Xbox gets the red circle of death, or your DS decides that it just feels like your game doesn't register? Sometimes things just... break.

"I don't understand. Things don't just break." Kisame said with forced calm. He had been the first one to speak for a whole minute. "Something has to happen. Itachi, you're the genius here. What happened?"

The Uchiha just shook his head. "Sharingan isn't reading anything."

Deidara sat on the couch with his head in his hands. Next to him, Tobi was shaking slightly in his seat. This was not good. 10 minutes to go.

The terror smothered them like a blanket. No one moved. "Well..."

"Yeah."

"Fuck this." Deidara growled, shaking his head before taking it out of his hands and staring up blankly. "There's one thing left."

Everyone looked at him expectantly, hoping he would suddenly reveal that this was all a terrible terrible genjutsu and that this wasn't actually happening. Because this couldn't be happening. It just was not possible.

"We could Hulu it." the blonde muttered quietly.

It was like someone had torn off the blanket of terror and exposed them to the freezing cold truth. No. That was unacceptable.

The tension was broken by Tobi starting to bounce up and down. "Oh! Tobi knows! Pein-sama has a TV!"

… what?

With all pairs of murderous eyes on him, he continued. "Tobi saw it when he was called in once. It's really really big and HD and stereo sound and everything!"

Yes. Yes, it was perfect. But dangerous. Impossible. If Pein knew that his mercenaries were watching... Konoha's Next Top Model... they don't know what would happen. They had turned down missions every Monday, using every excuse in the book. If Pein knew this was the reason...

"Then we have no choice." Sasori muttered lightly, his face set.

Kakuzu turned on him, a small trace of fear in his normally unreadable eyes. "No. See unlike you and Hidan, we can die."

"Haha, fuck yeah. Me and the scorpion will live to see the winner." The immortal said smugly.

"This is happening, yeah. This is happening." Deidara muttered, his eyes glancing at the digital clock. Their show would start in a minute.

Because... Hinata and Karin were worth it.

* * *

The house was lonely. Cold. Empty. Karin didn't like it one bit. She was comfortable around people, being in a position to exert some sort of intimidating power over a crowd. But it was just the bluenette left, and she never really let things get to her. The silence seemed to suit Hinata just fine.

The girl in question was reading a book contentedly in the living room, her curvy body displayed on accident as she lay on her side on the couch. Hinata really was beautiful, but shy. She had the talent but lacked the motivation.

Karin was devious and ambitious as well as edgily sexy, but she was a bitch.

Honestly both knew it was anyone's game.

"What are you reading?" Karin asked lightly, not knowing why she was being kind. Might as well talk to her only roommate left in the big house.

Hinata's exotic eyes flicked up to the red orbs in a cautious matter. "Tsunade's biography, actually. I..."  
She was hesitant to tell her the reason for reading it, but Karin was looking down at her with a strange sort of consideration. Worth a try. "I want to see _why_ she models and what it means to her. It may be a little late in the game, but I want to figure out why I want this. I want... I want to find my motivation."

Maybe there was hope for them. Karin was attempting to tone down the bitch, and Hinata was finding her reason for being here.

"Yeah... I... want to change as well. I need to mirror your kindness a little, heh."

Something clicked for Karin. It was strange, but Hinata was the only one out of all the girls in the game whom she had never had a real problem with. She was the one Karin declared a hidden threat, but not scary enough to try to destroy.

Hinata was the one she liked the best. Not that that was saying much. It was late at night, and Karin smirked to herself. Without another word she left to the kitchen and returned with something that looked very much like two full glasses of-

"Is that a mixed drink?" Hinata asked, marking the page in her book and setting it down.

"You bet your ass it is. Might as well." Karin shrugged, setting the glasses on the coffee table.

Hinata was naturally gifted at reading people. Maybe it had to do with the strange eyes. She tried to detect an ulterior motivation, but found no blatant evil.

"Alright." She declared, nodding once.

* * *

All Akatsuki members with the exception of two stood outside Pein's door. They were five minutes into the show already, but no one seemed to muster up the courage to knock. As if they needed to.

"Come in and tell me why you're all standing around my door like idiots." came a voice from within.

They all jumped before Deidara laughed quietly. Of course he could sense their presence.

Opening the door, their eyes drank in something they did not expect. What Tobi had said about his home-theater system was correct, but that meant nothing compared to what was on the screen.

Their show. The leader of Akatsuki watched their show. One of the most terrifying people in the world... watched Konoha's Next Top Model.

No one said a word. It was too shocking.

"Well?"

Itachi nodded to himself before stating the truth. "Our TV is broken."

A bolt of electrical understanding shot between the congregation of men and their leader. They didn't need to say any more.

"Sit down." Pein said simply, indicating the two very large couches angled perfectly for TV viewing.

Hinata and Karin, on the show, were drinking together before it cut to commercial. As soon as the advertisement for wanted models came up, everybody started talking at once, asking what had happened in the five minutes of the show, crying their admiration for Pein, and supporting their girl.

"Wait wait Pein-sama, who are you supporting?" Tobi asked suddenly, and the room went quiet.

Pein crossed his arms across his chest. "Hyuuga Hinata."

There was a small eruption of cheers that were quickly stifled by his next words. "But that Karin girl has something good. It's anyone's game."

Oh how they knew that.

* * *

"I always watched you, you know." Hinata revealed suddenly, waving her drink.

Karin was surprised and oddly flattered. "Strange... same here."

"You just _knew_ what you wanted and what you needed to do to get it. I wanted to know where you got your drive-"

"-so you could find your own."

Hinata smiled softly. "Exactly."

Karin nodded. "We both seem to have what the other lacks. I was always jealous of your sweetness, you know. Also, you have a remarkable rack."

She blushed scarlet at the flattery, her arms self-consciously rising to cover her sizeable chest.

"But, but, you're so tiny! It doesn't make sense, Hina-hime."

Yeah, they were on their way towards _drunk_.

"Can we... er..."

"Combine to make the ideal super-supermodel? Yes."

They both laughed lightly.

"It's funny..." Hinata muttered, smiling to herself.

"What is?"

She took another sip before continuing. "We wait till the last night before getting to know each other. Pity."

"Ah, but you forget, my dear, that this is a game." Karin said lightly before raising her glass to make some sort of toast. "Then again, life is a game. So... so... we fight for survival and see if we're worth it."

Hinata nodded before raising her own glass. "Maybelline. Because we're worth it."

They clinked glasses. "Fuck yeah we are. I guess let's let the best diva win."

"Well yeah," Hinata giggled tying up her hair in a messy bun. "I mean I think we both deserve to win."

It happened before anyone noticed. Karin was suddenly in Hinata's face. "You think that, do you?"

Despite her general tendency to shy from confrontation, she wasn't feeling it. "I do."

The test passed, Karin drew back with a smirk. "Well said. You have a backbone after all."

"Whoever heard of a model without a backbone?" She asked goofily. "I mean, they would just crumple to the runway floor without a spine to hold them up."

This went over Karin's head. Didn't matter. "Uh... sure."

"I think we should stop drinking. A hangover wouldn't really be the best thing for tomorrow..." Hinata realized, circling around the rest of the drink in her glass."

"I guess. Well then I'm off to bed, hooker." Karin saluted her and stood up, heading for her room. Before she entered the hall, however, she turned. "We're both worth it, Hina-chan. But I'm going to win this!"

"Keep telling yourself that, b-bitch." Hinata stumbled over the rarely used word.

Strange bonding. Both girls were trying to fix their flaws before the final day. Whoever thought in a million years that they'd help each other out with it.

* * *

"Whoa..." Hidan muttered, running a hand through his hair as it cut to commercial. "What the fuck just happened?"

"This is an interesting twist." Pein muttered, closing his eyes.

"Yeah, they're taking examples from each other to deal with their lack of something..." Kisame said with a huge smile. "Bizarre."

Tobi popped up from behind the couch suddenly. "Tobi wants food. What should we order?"

"Chinese!"

"Pizza!"

"Sandwiches, duh."

As they bickered back and forth, Itachi calmly turned to Pein. "It's your choice, I believe."

"That it is. We're getting fried chicken and if you don't like it, I'll kill you."

No one was stupid enough to call that bluff.

* * *

Stepping out of the limo, Karin and Hinata gasped loudly upon seeing the catwalk they would be rocking that night. Through some terrible, perhaps underhanded dealings, the designer of the collection had managed to book a national treasure of Iwa: the Ruins of Seimei.

Thousands of years old, these ruins housed the very first inhabitants of Iwa, and their almost unearthly splendor drew people from every country to come sight see. Right now, however, people flocked to the ruins for a different reason. Fashion.

Nothing too dramatic had been done to the scenery, the designers of the twisting catwalk opting for a minimalist approach. The idea had been to incorporate the old with the new, so the ramps and stairs had a very technical, almost futuristic look about them.

"Isn't this a national treasure?" Hinata wondered aloud, beginning to follow their driver as he led them backstage.

Karin just shrugged, rearranging her glasses.

Once inside, they were met by Tsunade herself, beaming down on them like a proud mother. "Girls. You're here. It's the end of the end. After this show, we will decide your fates. Scary? It should be."

Out of a random door came Kakashi, grinning kindly. "Congratulations on getting it this far."

"This runway show is unlike the last finales we've had." Tsunade continued, crossing her arms over her mountainous chest. "This time, it's co-ed."

That was unexpected, Karin grinned while Hinata shrunk away slightly.

"Please welcome the designer of this collection, Konan."

From the door Kakashi came from emerged an ominously beautiful woman. One with dark hair, orange eyes, and a blue Dahlia in her hair.

* * *

"WHAT?"

All the Akatsuki manly men turned to Pein in shock at this. Konan? Their Konan?

Pein just nodded, a hint of pride radiating from his otherwise stoic appearance. "Fashion has been her life for as long as I can remember. She's been designing for just as long. Konan is only here, in this organization, because I asked her to. You all know her role is much different from the rest of you."

"Yeah, but…" Deidara muttered, frowning deeply.

"Wouldn't we have noticed her doing all this?" Hidan asked slowly, though he nodded when he realizes the answer to his own question. No, they wouldn't have noticed, because she was rarely around.

This seemed to hit the men like a brick. She traveled often, and always holed herself up in her room. It did make sense that she had a secret, but… as a famous designer?

"Who do you think designed your cloaks, idiots?" Pein finalized, turning back to the show.

* * *

She was pretty, and intimidating. Pretty intimidating. Without smiling at them like the others had, she just turned to face them. Hinata and even Karin seemed to get smaller in the face of her power.

Konan noticed. "I'm not going to welcome you two with open arms. If you even thought for a moment that this fashion show was created for you, dispel that thought from your minds right now. You are here to model my clothes. These people are here to see this collection..."

Yikes.

"... Not you. Are we clear?"

Both girls nodded while Kakashi and Tsunade just shook their heads in disapproval. Way to scare them out of existence before the biggest moment in their lives.

"Now, with that in mind, I believe that both of you are going to be an asset to this show, but I'm not going to tell you 'good luck' and 'try your best'. This is not about luck, it's about skill. You need to show me, Tsunade, and your audience that you belong up there."

Karin nodded, oddly bolstered by Konan's blatant demands. Even meek Hinata felt her nerve getting stronger in the face of such proud determination.

"Seeing as this is my couple's collection, you show your outfit, then the counterpart will, and then the two of you will come on together. I expect you to _compliment_ your partner, not to attempt to outshine them."

Tsunade, feeling Konan had scared the girls quite enough, jumped in. "I'm sure you'll recognize your partners from the Love photo-shoot you did a few weeks ago, but keep in mind you will rotate through the potential men."

Hinata blushed, remembering Sasuke. She hadn't called him, even though he had given her his number.

"So you girls go get familiarized with the layout and your station, and then find your makeup artist." Kakashi told them sweetly. "This show starts in an hour. The reason you're both here is because you proved yourselves better than the competition. We need you to show us your determination once more. Good luck—"

Konan shot him a glare.

"—Er, kick ass like we know you can." He edited, nodding to the designer.

"Get to it."

* * *

As the show cut to commercial, Kisame's attention switched to the cloak he wore. He ran his hand over the material, a new appreciation dawning. "So this is high fashion?"

"I guess…" Hidan muttered, now looking at his own cloak. "I feel bad for always ripping it now…"

True, Hidan did treat his cloak the worst out of the group.

"Hand sewed." Pein nodded.

"This is really nice fabric." Deidara decided, smiling. "So she made this… and all the stuff we're about to see."

Sasori turned to Itachi. "Your adorable brother is coming back."

The Uchiha's face darkened slightly. "I can't believe it. I still can't believe it. I put him on the path to become a great shinobi…"

"Yeah," Kisame said, "But here we are, watching models. Makes you question out choices a bit."

Kakuzu, who had been strangely quiet this whole time, smiled at this. "I think you're right."

Yeah, he was plotting something, alright.

* * *

When the time for action came around, there was no room for dilly-dally. Despite the shouting of instructions and pleas to locate clothing, Hinata could still discern the loud, dull murmur of the audience.

She felt like her stomach was melting. She was never good with nerves, but this was the worst thing she had ever experienced. Questions of self-doubt swirled around in her brain and even wringing her hands couldn't stop them from shaking.

Why, why, _why_ was she going on before Karin? The redhead seemed in her zone, completely at ease with the noise, commands, and what was at stake. This wasn't even fair.

"Don't worry."

She jumped as her first partner addressed her. It was Shikamaru, the one who had taken pictures with Temari. His cool temperament managed to calm her down slightly. "Do I look worried? Why would I be worried?"

"Your shrill tone betrays you, Hinata." He replied, smiling softly. Long, elegant hands found their way to her shoulders comfortingly. "If it makes you feel any better, Temari is here."

* * *

Kisame shouted his excitement, and Itachi _smiled_. This was awesome, bringing back their favorite.

* * *

"T-temari?"

"I invited her." Shikamaru shrugged, returning to his place leaning against the wall. "She mentions you sometimes."

Hinata's heart leapt. "Really? Are you guys, er…"

"The after-party is our second date." He revealed, smirking lightly.

"I'm glad. That makes me feel better. I mean, that she's here, not that she's dating you… though I'm glad for that too!" She forced out, still nervous.

"Breathe. The clothes suit you, and you can just follow my lead."

Her outfit was edgy yet casual, with a sharp-edged spring jacket over a black bandeau and a pale, forest green skirt. She wore light grey suede heeled boots that made her much taller without drawing attention to it. Shikamaru's outfit oddly both matched and clashed hers, both factors creating a sort of fashionable harmony.

"Thanks."

* * *

Karin was creeping. Sasuke wasn't impressed. It was impossible to deny that they made a good-looking couple, though.

"Hinata never called you, did she?" Karin asked, smirking.

He didn't need to answer for her to know it was true.

She was clad in a deep purple tunic dress with an open back covered in crisscrossing strings. Grey stockings rested a few inches below the hem of the short dress, leading down her long legs to deep blue, spiky-toed heels. Sasuke wore a dynamically cut, dark purple sports jacket over a black tee and light gray corduroys that were rolled up at his calf.

"A good girl and a bad boy don't mix well too often." She declared, closing her eyes and shrugging.

"You're incorrigible." Sasuke growled, refusing to make eye contact as he adjusted the hem on his jacket cuffs.

Karin glared at him for a moment before smirking again. "Maybe. But I'm going to win."

Sasuke just nodded, clearly not in the mood to deal with a diva. That's why he had liked Hinata, after all.

* * *

This was… easy. Hinata's walk took a few steps to become strong, but by the time she got to the first checkpoint, she posed well, trying not to be too dynamic and angular.

As she turned around, she passed Shikamaru, who walked with his hands in his pockets casually. It wasn't a classic walk, but it _worked_, especially with the clothes.

When they we both to walk out together on the wide runway, he draped an arm around her shoulders lightly, and she put hand to her hip. As they walked, rocking the 'We're much better than you without even trying' look.

Hinata caught a glimpse of Temari, who smiled toothily at her.

Bolstered by this, Hinata pushed off of Shikamaru and walked ahead of him at the end of the walk, holding a hand back without looking. He smirked and took it, and when he reached her side he twirled her around in a circle once before mirroring her ending pose.

They were good. Temari clapped louder than anyone.

As they reached the middle of the walk on the way back, Karin came out with such a demanding presence that Hinata faltered ever so slightly in her step before regaining her composure.

Seeing this, Karin's aura got even sharper as she strutted past, her experience in fashion helping her know how to work the proper angles of the dress. Her final pose was incredible—legs apart, hands on her hips, working her naturally angular frame.

She passed Sasuke and made a kissy-face at him, to which he angled his head away and lightly traipsed down the lane.

When they went out together, Sasuke led slightly, holding Karin's hand behind him. Their final pose was dynamically face-to-face, Karin smirking and Sasuke coolly appraising.

Somehow they managed to work their strange tension to their advantage. Karin and Sasuke really were amazing.

Other pairs and other outfits passed before Hinata came again, this time with Sasuke. Two pairs later, Karin showed off Suigetsu like a dog, which somehow worked. The time after that Hinata walked with a blond named Naruto, blushing the whole time. Karin paired with Shikamaru was interesting, as the boy walked with every intention of stopping Karin's flow.

The last one they had to do was… together. The show featured looks for homosexual couples as well. Their outfits were the inverse of the other in terms of colors, patterns, and baggy-versus-tight fitting.

Before the stage manager could scream for them to go out, Karin grabbed Hinata's hand. "For just this once… I'm going to walk with you as a partner. Not to beat you. Cool?"

Hinata smiled, nodding. "Let's show them what the top two can do."

Something about them… worked. Karin was tall, skinny, and edgy while Hinata was short, curvy, and softer. Crazy red hair seemed the opposite of straight, angular dark locks.

They took turns in their walk, showing the other off, and the last pose…

Karin kissed Hinata.

Yes, that happened. Damn that girl knew how to preform for an audience.

It was quick, but not cut short, and Hinata smiled through her blush, beginning to pull Karin back the way they had come, and she continued to lead the two of them all the way back.

It just… worked.

* * *

They had kissed.

"They… kissed." Deidara muttered, a blush on his cheeks. Most of the other men showed similar signs of cute embarrassment.

Itachi shook his head. "What a season."

Nodding, Sasori replied. "What a season, indeed."

"Almost makes you want to join that world." Kakuzu declared smugly.

No one really realized what he said, but they all nodded nonetheless.

"Kakuzu…" Pein called, narrowing his eyes at the money-grubber. He sensed something was up.

Kakuzu just smiled back at their leader, and a bolt of understanding shot between them.

There was a plan, alright.

* * *

"I have two strong, incredible women in front of me,"

Karin and Hinata were wearing the last outfit they showed off, the ones that complimented each other. The show had ended an hour ago, and the girls should have been exhausted, but they were now running off of sheer adrenaline.

"Both deserving, so so deserving of the title, Konoha's Next Top Model."

Tsunade looked down at them from her pedestal, staring them down. "But there cannot be two."

The girls nodded.

"Karin, come forward."

The redhead nodded again and walked slowly to the power-spot.

"Karin, you are the very definition of fire." Tsunade began, smiling. "Powerful, destructive, ambitious, and… well… fiery. You are perhaps one of the strongest competitors I have ever seen in the modeling world, and I would never want to go up against you for anything. But you have a temper, Karin. You are as diva as they come, and although given your talent people might overlook your sharpness… there are others who will not."

On the judge's panel, Jariya and Kakashi both nodded.

"I've seen girls ruin their own chances because they deem themselves better than everyone else. I've even seen models thrown out of a show and blacklisted because no one wants to deal with their rotten attitude."

Karin cringed. That was a direct hit.

"Lately we've seen a change, a welcome change." Tsunade smiled now, proud of her girl. "Almost as if you've been taking from Hinata's example, you've learned a little more give-and-take and humbled yourself."

Tsunade moved her hand to indicate the large screen. The picture of Karin's first wild, strong, wide-stance pose came up, the girl herself radiating so much power and confidence it was almost awe-inspiring.

"Thank you for all your efforts thus far. Hinata, please come forward."

Now in the power-spot, Hinata looked up at Tsunade deeply, standing her ground unlike they had ever seen before.

"Cute, wonderful, kind Hinata. You are a rarity in the modeling world. Someone who cares about the people around her and wishes for everyone's success. You're natural beauty never ceases to amaze me, and your modesty makes you even more beautiful. But from the very start, I feared for you, Hinata." She declared, her face dropping.

"I was afraid your big heart couldn't handle this vicious world. A model, though she does what she's told, is not a manikin. You must bring your own flare to the table and become someone that people _want_ to see."

"This is a heavy world, and I feared it would destroy you. But it hasn't. You've gotten stronger, more sure of yourself and sure of what you want to do. Just as Karin took something from you, you have seemed to take some of her powerful drive. It's a good, good thing. But, you stumbled on the runway. Who's to stay you won't stumble later? The panel believes in you, but now is no longer the time for that."

Hinata's picture was one before she had walked out with Naruto, and she was in a cream dress, edgy leather jacket and matching large leather boots. She stood with her hands in the pockets of the jacket, head tilted to the side and shoulders together. It was a new, but good look for her.

"Hinata, thank you. Now the judges must deliberate and when you return, we will deem one of you Konoha's Next Top Model."

* * *

"This is happening, isn't it?" Hinata asked, hugging her knees to her chest tightly.

"I guess…"

The wait was painful… excruciating. Knowing there were powerful men and women outside, deciding their fates.

One would move on, and the other might vanish into obscurity. Last season's runner-up, a spunky girl named Karui, didn't exactly flourish despite Tsunade's assurance of her career being secure.

It was almost as if the modeling world didn't actually take this show seriously. Contract or not, designers still needed to like the girl herself. Being part of Icha Icha didn't necessarily get you anywhere. Tenten, the winner of last season, hadn't been heard of nor seen since her spread in _Seventeen._

A shame, really. These girls had talent.

* * *

"Two girls. Two stories. Two fates." Tsunade muttered, frowning down on both of them. She had no pictures in her hand, though she wished she would have had something to distract herself.

Even now she had second thoughts about their decision.

"I want you to know that no matter which one we chose, there is a bright future ahead of you, if you wish to pursue it."

_They'll pick Karin because she's tough and can continue to climb her way to the top. I've lost. _Hinata thought suddenly, hunching her shoulders in despair.

_Hinata won. She needs this step up. They'll give it to her because I have more drive towards making modeling work some other way. _Karin had never experienced such self-doubt before.

"So… without further ado…."

Tsunade paused and shut her eyes tightly before nodding to herself and opening them again with a large small. "Konoha's Next Top Model is…"

They both drew in their breaths.

"… Karin."

* * *

EPILOGUE YES IT WILL COME I SWEAR ON TSUNADE'S BOOBS IT WILL COME.

I planned this whole fic around the epilogue.

It's happening.

R and R lovies.

-Lil


	6. Shotgun epilogue

**Yeah. YEAH. Karin won. That definitely happened. Clearly Tsunade is insane. Much like LIFE, things don't often work out the way ya want. **

**That's what epilogues are for, and creative license allows me to do whatever the fuck I want. **

**Yesssssss.**

**

* * *

**

"Hina-chan, your hands are so tiny…" Deidara observed, holding up their intertwined digits to see the contrast.

It had taken a awhile, but Hinata had finally gotten used to the… well… mouths on his hands. Though in the bedroom it had always been the best—well, never mind.

"O-only because yours are so big…" Hinata stumbled over her words, blushing lightly.

Temari, who chose this time to enter the lobby from a side-door, just shook her head. "I seriously hate you both."

The couple looked behind the couch they were lazing on to see the model, standing dominantly. Kisame and Itachi were behind her, the latter shaking his head and putting a hand lightly on his charge's shoulder. "No need to be jealous…"

Spinning on her edgy, black leather boot, Temari faced one of her managers fiercely. "Excuse me?"

Kisame stepped ahead of the the bickering pair to sit next to Hinata on the couch. "He's her manager, Temari, he's always with her. It's not her fault Shikamaru has his own stuff to do…"

She blushed at the mention of her fiancé, immediately quieting.

"Temari-chan.. h-how is he?" Hinata asked, snuggling ever-so-slightly closer to her boyfriend.

"Suna is going well, blah blah blah, I miss you, blah blah, let's play shougi over the phone, blaaaaah." She listed, waving them off with her hand. "I still hate you for getting him that gig, Kisame. It's my hometown, damn it…"

The ex-swordsman wheezed a laugh. "Meh, I owed Sasori so I had to give it to his little pink… thing."

Their lobby was wide and spacious with a red color scheme. The front desk was currently manned by a sharp-eyed secretary that Kakuzu had known for a while. She just clicked away at her computer, hiding a smile at their antics. As the models and murderers continued their chatter, the phone rang.

"Akatsuki Models, how can I help—Oh, Konan-sama!" The secretary called loudly, alerting the people in the lobby to the important caller.

"Yes, yes, they're right here, actually… Send them up? Sure… Oh, well they're not going to like that at all, Konan-sama… yes, I know you're right… Sure thing. They'll be up in a moment."

Hinata leaned up to peck Deidara's lips lovingly before standing up. He continued holding her hand childishly, tugging softly, "No~o, where are you going?"

Temari smacked the back of his head from behind the couch. "Konan needs us, idiot."

Over Hinata apologizing cutely, Itachi strongly said, "We haven't heard anything about this. As your managers, we really should know what happens to you…"

"Don't worry, Itachi!" Hinata called, suddenly by Temari's side. "It's just a little thing."

The girls began to walk to the secretary, arms linked. Seasoned models as they were, they now strutted subconsciously. After some girlish chatter between them and the secretary, they went behind the desk into the elevator.

As the doors were closing, Kisame yelled, "Te-ext meee-ee!"

Finally getting over being stunned at the loss of his girlfriend, Deidara jumped up to his feet, "Hina, wait—"

The elevator doors slid shut, but Hinata managed a wave before she was cut off completely.

There was a small silence before the secretary laughed quietly. "If you were any more head over heels, you'd be a gymnast."

The blond blushed while the others just smirked. Damn it was true.

Kakuzu _had_ been scheming. On that fateful final episode where Karin won—they were still irked about that—Kakuzu had put together quite the wonderful plan. Using Konan's extreme influence, Pein's power, and the metric shit ton of cash he won from his fellow assassins because of betting on Karin, he changed Akatsuki into a modeling agency.

It had been a year since then, and Akatsuki Models was now one of the largest modeling agency in the world.

This isn't to say they stopped killing people. The Akatsuki Crime Syndicate had _officially_ dissolved, but there was an underground group calling itself Jashin that continued the tradition.

It was said that Pein used Jashin and it's leader Hidan to scare away competitors of Akatsuki Models, but shhh. Turns out running a mercenary group through a modeling agency was a wonderful idea, considering they could use the models and their access to every place on the planet, ever. I mean, who wouldn't let in a model?

The girls didn't exactly know about all of this, however. Well, Temari did, because she and Shikamaru were too damn smart for their own good. Hinata knew about Deidara's (and the others') past as a "hitman" as they called it, and she hadn't even batted an eyelash when he came clean.

Then again, she _had_ grown up in the Hyuuga crime family.

At first, the some skeptics involved with Akatsuki had laughed at the idea of them turning to fashion for their new outlet. They were now clinically insane, blown to a million tiny pieces by clay, Samehada'd, poisoned in the strangest ways by puppets, or dead by voodoo. That's how they did it in Akatsuki.

Konan's designs, though not officially affiliated with Akatsuki Models, grew in popularity in direct correlation to Pein's success. Temari and Hinata were the faces of the line. Never before had she taken the two randomly for a secret meeting like this, though.

Karin enjoyed a large, initial success with Icha Icha Modeling Agency, although it was short-lived as Tsunade's influence began to falter. But, due to her volcanic will power and daring ambition, she had clawed her way back into the limelight, coming out with a jewelry and accessory membership fashion line. Every month people would pay some amount of money and, based on a fashion personality profile, would be given recommendations and send one piece of their choice.

Temari, Sakura, and Hinata were premium members, but it was only the bluenette that didn't need to pay.

Hinata and Karin were the most popular when they were together, even after all the 'lesbian lovers?' hype had passed. That kiss on the runway had set their roles as celebrity a-listers in stone. In fact, Hinata and Karin were walking in a show at the end of the week. They had remained friends, even after everything had gone down.

Though initially depressed at the outcome of KNTM, Hinata quickly snapped out of her stupor and met with Temari, who, through Shikamaru, helped the both of them get some jobs. This odd-job pattern continued for only a month before all three were approached by an unknown agency calling themselves Akatsuki.

The rest, well… is history.

Deidara would never forget meeting Hinata for the first time, and, quite frankly, neither would she.

"_Hinata. Hyuuga Hinata." He stated, just staring down at her cute, confused face. _

"_Er… hi." She said nervously, looking over her shoulder at Temari, who shrugged before continuing to talk to Itachi and Kisame. _

_For the first time in his life, Deidara had nothing to say. Fragments of sentences bounced around in his head, words mixing with each other. On top of it all, his voice didn't seem to be working anymore._

_Overwhelmed with awkwardness, Hinata tilted her head and smiled warmly at him. "I… I like your outfit. It looks like Konan."_

_He looked down at the clothes Konan had meticulously picked out for him to wear for this, the first contact with their first models. "Er, yeah it is…"_

"_These pieces… they aren't even out right now… how did you—eek!" She cried, jumping back when Deidara suddenly dived down to one knee, grabbing her hand with just his fingers._

"_Will you be my client?" He asked, extreme honesty and intensity issuing from his bright eyes. _

"_Er… what?" She blushed, frozen in place._

_Near her, Temari had been approached with the same request, though admittedly the two men didn't look like they were proposing as the blond was._

"_I'm a co-founder of Akatsuki Models," He explained in a rush, clearly nervous. "We wish to sign you to our agency."_

_She had never heard of it. Itachi and Kisame were doing a better job explaining it all to Temari, but Hinata was completely lost. _

_But… "Ok."_

_Deidara was taken aback, certain he would need to further his begging. He blinked a few times after she just openly and easily accepted. "Uh… al-alright!" he stood, still holding her hand lightly._

_After getting over the initial shock of her acceptance, Deidara swiftly turned into a suave, seemingly-professional manager. "We of Akatsuki Models watched your progress on Konoha's Next Top Model and believe you would be a great addition to our group."_

_His speech seemed like he had it memorized, but at least he seemed more savvy. "This is off the record, but we think you should have won over Karin. We're not going to let you and Temari's talents go to waste."_

_Hinata nodded, pursing her lips. "How many models do you have?"_

"_Zero." Deidara answered honestly before clapping his hand over his mouth in shock. "I mean," He tried to correct, but was muffled by the embarrassed hand covering his words. "Er, we're very selective of—" _

_Hinata gently cut him off as she tenderly removed his hand. She was closer to him now, and both were blushing slightly. "So you mean we would be your first."_

"_Yeah…" He admitted dejectedly. _

_She giggled. Deidara was all over the place—suave and savvy one minute, then unsure and cute the next. In her peripheral vision she could see Temari nodding again and again with a smirk on her face, and she took this to assume that Deidara was just nervous and not selling his company very well. Itachi and Kisame seemed to be the opposite._

"_That's fine!" She called lightly, nodding. "This is… well… I'm just assuming… but is Akatsuki Models associated with Konan? You are wearing her designs and they aren't even published…"_

_He considered his answer for a moment before nodding once. "Yes. Well… no. Not officially, but… loosely."_

"_Then I trust you." She answered simply, needing no other explanation. _

_Konan was known all over the world for having an iron grip over her domain. If she was affiliated with something (which was rather rare), it was either already a powerhouse or had extreme potential to become so. _

"_Thank you. Now," Deidara recovered his shock from her quick, strong assertions. "I'm sure you have a manager, but…"_

_He stopped as she shook her head a few times cutely. "Not a real one. If you saw Kohona's Next Top Model, you'd know, maybe, that Shikamaru, a free-lance model, is… well… Anyway, he's been kind of managing Temari and I. But he's a model himself, so…"_

_She left the implication to his own imagination. "Good. I would be honored if you would let me manage you."_

_Lightly shaking his outstretched hand, Hinata nodded. "Yes—Uwwahh is that a m-mouth on your hand?"_

3 months later, Hinata and Deidara were openly dating.

8 months later, Temari and Shikamaru we're engaged.

Now, a year after joining Akatsuki Models, Temari and Hinata were at the very, _very_ top.

* * *

"Konan… this is…" Temari muttered, chosing her words carefully. They were in Konan's private studio at the very tip top of the building.

"B-beautiful!" Hinata gasped, running over to the two dresses on display. One of them, clearly meant for Temari because of the length, was a sheath-cut lace and silk dress of a pale, creamy periwinkle with a strapless, sweetheart neckline. Despite being delightfully simple-looking from a distance, upon closer inspection there was beautifully flowing, wind-like lace embroidery on the neckline and the floor-reaching hem.

To the left of this was a fun silk cocktail dress in a deep, navy blue. It also had a sweetheart neckline, though unlike Temari's, this had thick straps. Though less magnificent than the other, both would look completely perfect at a red-carpet affair. Despite the modern sweetheart neckline twist Hinata's dress had a very 1950's look about it.

"This is different for you…" Temari finally said. It was true, these, despite being beautiful, were rather tame compared to most of her works.

Konan shrugged. "I felt like mixing it up. Trying out a wedding line, so I'll have you two doing preliminary photos. And because of you being _engaged_, my dear, _you'll_ be modeling the wedding dress."

Hinata clapped her hands excitedly. "It's absolutely beautiful! Temari, you're going to look amazing."

"Yeah…" The blond finally walked over to the dress and lightly felt the fabric. "But… isn't that sending the wrong kind of… I mean we haven't even started planning the wedding at all…"

Konan just turned her back to her two friends, shrugging. "Good thing your opinions don't matter then, considering this is a job and you're being paid."

Right to the point. That was Konan. It turned out that once you got to get to know the woman she was a kind, fun woman. Most of the world saw differently, however. "Temari, you're first up for makeup. Hinata, stay here for a bit."

Without more than a confused glance, Temari left the room, her eyes lingering on the beautiful wedding dress before shutting the door.

The two inside waited a few moments before the designed turned to her little model. "Is everything going well?"

Hinata just smiled, nodding. "I don't think she suspects anything. Shikamaru is too smart to let that happen."

"Yeah, yeah… he's s schemer." Konan muttered, taking Hinata's dress off it's manikin in one impossibly fluid movement. "You better head over to make up. Remember… don't muck this up."

* * *

Temari's pictures were near perfect. Though still one to sport her tough-girl vibe, there was something about the amazing dress that tapped into some long-lost dreams of being a princess.

But something was missing.

And that something tapped her shoulder. "You have to smile."

"Don't tell me what to—" She growled, turning on her heel before coming face to face with the man himself, her fiancé Nara Shikamaru.

"Y-you were—Suna—what?" Temari stammered, blushing slightly. "What's going…"

Shikamaru just smiled, grabbing her hand and pulling her over to the next set where Hinata and Shikamaru's friend Naruto were standing, wearing complimentive outfits. The bridesmaid herself was beaming, looking just a little too happy for this being a photo shoot.

Wait.

As they entered the set itself, Shikamaru ran his finger over the beautiful engagement ring on her finger.

Wait.

Suddenly Konan was there, standing at a slightly-raised pedestal.

Hadn't she mentioned becoming an ordained minister just because she wanted to? Yes, she had.

"Dearly beloved… skipping this nonsense… Let me hear your vows." Konan muttered lightly once the couple made their way down the cream carpet to stand right in place. Right in the place they would be had they been getting married.

Wait.

Shikamaru nodded and turned to face the absolute love of his life. "Hey."

Shocked and uncharacteristically shy, Temari just blushed harder and quietly replied, "Hey."

"When I was little, I made a list." He began, taking both of her hands in his own. "Extremely manly, the list was about what my future wife would be like."

Waaa~ait.

"She would be normal, dainty, quiet… a tad submissive when needed, a good cook, and, most importantly, unwilling to give me any lip. We would live an average life, with a pretty good kid or two, and then probably die or something."

Behind Temari, Hinata had to clap her hands over her mouth to stop from letting out a squeak. She knew what was coming. Hell, the pair of them had planned this whole thing, of _course_ Hinata would know what was coming in his vows.

"What I found was an insane, fierce, loud loud_ loud_, terrible cook who not only has been giving me lip ever since I _met_ her, but could easily beat me in a fist-fight. And I know now that my life can never be average, and our kids… that we haven't talked about yet… will be the hottest on the planet." He raised his hand to softly touch her pink cheeks. "And I know, _know_, that you will be the death of me. And I wouldn't have it any other way."

Hinata couldn't help it. She let out a high, "Awwww!"

The proud groom looked pointedly at his bride, indicating her turn. Her turn to say vows she didn't have. Asshole.

"You are an idiot." Was all she said. Glaring murderously, she shook her head and bit her lip. "And so help me if this is really happening right now—"

"Shikamaru, do you take this vicious, lovely woman to be your lawfully wedded wife, through all that good and bad stuff?" Konan jumped in, waving off the official words.

"Yes, I do."

"Temari, do you take this idiot to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

The blond shook her head, unable to fight her smile. "I do. Don't know why, but I do."

"Then I now pronounce you man and wife. You may now... make out." Konan nodded to the two of them and hopped off her pedestal.

He quickly swooped in on his bride, kissing her lightly. When they pulled away, Shikamaru enveloped her in a sweet hug. "An unconventional woman gets an unconventional wedding."

"I… I can't even believe you."

Hinata and Naruto started clapping, the latter whopping loudly.

"And what's more, we got all these pictures." Konan declared from where she now stood, looking at the photographer's work.

"Plus, plus, there's a party later! Wait until everybody figures out it's a _wedding_ _reception_." Hinata squealed, looking as happy as though she was the bride herself.

Even though they didn't win the stupid show, their lives had changed. They found their true love and a perfect boyfriend, long lasting success, and indirectly saved many many lives Akatsuki would have taken had they not completely changed their lives.

I'd call that a big win.

* * *

**Bleep blop bloop.**

**That just happened. **

**Yes, the murderous mercenaries of Akatsuki turned into a modeling agency because they were pissed about the outcome of a show.**

**Yes, I'm incapable of tying things up.  
**

**Yes, YES, everyone wins. Except Sasuke, because I don't like him anymore. **

**Thanks for following this nonsense even after me dying for like two years right before the final episode. And if you're new, then awesome, I hope you liked it.**

**I'd let Deidara manage me any day. **

**INTERPRET THAT EVERY WAY YOU CAN BECAUSE EVERY WAY IS TRUE.**

**-Lil  
**


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